“Sixteen thousand!” Theresa thought. “And it’s all for me.”
That sounded like a lot of money to her, she looked at her green colored ATM, and it felt great holding it in her hand. It signified a lot in her life. First, it signified that she was now a woman, a twenty year old campus student, she could now decide what to eat, when to sleep, and most of all what to do with her free time, the time that she got to her room, no more curfew. On her first trip to the ATM machine and she had to ask for help, she did know how to go about it. After she had gotten her money, she hang around the ATM, which she was shielding wither back, even though it now read:
‘Please insert our card.”
She feared that someone might be able to access her money and steal it. It is only after she had murmurs and saw a man approaching her that she walked out. Later that evening, she came to check on her account; the girl in front of her had her card stuck in the machine. Theresa felt so bad, having stood in the line for over five minutes only for it to be spoilt. The girl had not even warned them, she walked in, took her time in the ATM and rushed out scared. It’s only when Theresa tried to insert her ATM that she realized that she could not, she reported it to the people outside and one of the men went in then came back and announced that there was a card stuck inside the ATM machine. Theresa simply looked for another machine she breathed in more easily when she realized that her money was still there.
Now in forth year, she could not imagine herself, becoming like the people who were clueless about ATMs.
“Is it working anxious first years?” would ask her though she rarely answered them.
The first few days in campus Theresa just ate chips and chicken, mostly she ate in town and just came back to sleep in her room, that is not after taking a midnight snack, which consisted mainly of a smokie, a sausage a samosa and a soda. In the morning she would simple walk into town and have some tea, mandazi and a sausage. It felt great. She had quickly realized that the money was meant to last her until March, that was six months away, yet three quarter of the loan had already been wasted on food, not even clothes, her parents were shocked. The same hand outs that she was escaped from, she badly needed to see her through the reminder of that first semester.
“If only I hadn’t told them how much money I was getting for the student’s loan.” In the midst of her excitement of receiving such a huge a mount of money, she had blurted it to her family. More so her father, a typical Kikuyu man, he had already made calculations. She would be able to save up to half her loan that was according to his estimates, which were based on the cost of Ugali and Sukuma wiki or cabbage, and for breakfast tea and one mandazi.
“Kwani I am not supposed to eat meat or chicken?”
Her elder brother who happened to be a drunkard she had already loaned three thousand shillings which she had promised to return within two weeks, two weeks turned months, months had turned into years. He was yet to return the money. It was not like he was living at home anyway, after supporting his drinking habits for a number of years; it had culminated with him being chased away from home by their father. Theirs was a family of four boys and the last born girl, an apple to the father’s eye, his only daughter, named after his mother. Theresa’s mother was particularly happy after she was born, otherwise her father wouldn’t have stopped until he had a girl. The beloved daughter did not disappoint, where the boys failed to excel, she did, in her studies and socially. They all knew she was meant to do great things, and the fact that she had been the first person in her entire extended family to make it to a public university, hammered the point home.
Thought of her first day in University, it brought a feeling of nostalgia in her mind. She smiled at the life she had lived. It was her last chance to be a child, to act up, now as a fourth year prospects of getting a job, paying bills, getting married, all scared her a lot.
Living around Nairobi, you would have thought they would arrived early, by the time they got there, it seemed like half of the thousands students that are admitted to the University of Nairobi had already arrived. She looked at the ‘great institution, she knew it, she felt it.
‘This is it!”
“I am going to study hard and get a job.”
Other students might have noticed her smile, if they had not been too busy getting themselves registered as students. She felt great, she was awed. In primary school she told her friends that she wanted to attend the University of Nairobi. She did not mind doing anything to get there, she would do course. Her dream was the university, not the course but studying in Main Campus, her degree would just serve as evidence that she had been there.
“A whole new world!” her heart melted at the prospect of that thought.
This was the rest of her life, in just four years, she felt like she had an opportunity to shape her life, open up her mind in a way that no other event in her life could be able to open up her mind the way the university would open up her mind.
Theresa knew that the University would change her life for the positive she never thought that it could her life for the negative.
“I can’t accept your proposal.” She had naively said to Timothy, or Timoty as he had introduced himself in a distinctively Kisii accent.
“What is your name?” he had asked while she worked at a Simu ya Jamii.
“Muthoni.”She replied quickly. She had wished him gone as soon as he made a call.
Flash was the better word, after all she had heard the call go through, but she assumed that he was only making a conversation so that he could see whether the person he had flashed would call.
“Mutoni!” he repeated her name confidently.
Theresa was offended. “Muthoni!” she corrected him.
“Ooooh Mutoni.” He smiled thinking that he had gotten it right.
“Yes.” She forced a smile.
He did walk away, only after he had proposed to her and she had answered him. “I am going to university. I am going to meet many more men.” She did not want to restrict herself to ordinary men. She could picture herself meeting the man of her dreams in campus, a medic, may be an engineering student, they would date from their first year in campus, graduate together and then they would get married and live happily ever after.
“Five years!” she exclaimed on finding out the number of years it took for the medical and engineering students to finish campus.
“I can’t wait that long!”She thought. “I want to get married at twenty four.”
That was the age she was going to finish campus, get a job and get married.
“The graduation will be in December.” Her heart sank.
“Six months!” she felt annoyed. “Why can’t they give me my degree? Why do I have to wait for so long?”
Word was their graduation would be moved to February that scared her a lot. Why the long wait, yet in government jobs she could not apply without her degree. At times being in a public university could be very frustrating, mostly in seemed like they were out to frustrate her. If the aim of the administration was to frustrate her as frequently and often as they could during the course of the four years, they had managed to do that with perfection, at times wishing that she had attended a private university, or just flown out of the country. Unfortunately her parents couldn’t afford it.
Now with only a few days remaining, to finish school and to her twenty fourth birthday, she realized that the odds were the man of her dreams was not at the university of Nairobi and she might be able to get married at twenty four as she had always wanted.
Her illusion about campus boys quickly faded, it did not go past the registration line. For a while she had managed to deceive herself that campus boys were it, they tall, light skinned and handsome, she envisioned that they looked like a point five, a half cast between a white man and an black woman, who spoke nice English, with a nice accent, and dressed like the English premiership footballers when they off the pitch. Trendy would have been a nice word. Guys who had nice pick up lines, guys from Nairobi, but apparently the majority apparently were upcountry, the vast majority. The only time they learned to dress themselves was after campus, she did not want to wait for that long, and neither did she want a man who she would have to train like a dog to do new tricks. Seeing these guys all freshmen clad in all manner of colors made her skin to cringe, it was painful to look at them. One that she will never forget, was dressed in a light green trouser and bright blue shirt, she had no idea that they made clothes in those colors. Weren’t such colors for making paper bags or paint?
“Thank God I don’t know him.” She managed a smile.
A week later the smile was gone, they were in the same class with him. He walked into class in the same costume. Theresa felt a cold breeze blow as he passed her.
“I don’t know him: I have never seen him before.” She practiced.
Three years later it was when the outfit disappeared.
“What if it was stolen?” she joked with her friends.
“Joseph’s coat of many colors is missing.” They all laughed. “After all it was the first and last.”
Funny enough, that boy became a very good friend of Theresa. Indispensible!
Was Theresa green and fresh like most of the freshmen, she came with a decided mind of what she wanted to do. That does it mean, unlike all first years she did not get lost or try to find her way in a whole new world. Whenever Theresa was told about the immorality that filled the higher institutions, more so the street that was believed to be the prostitution streets for female students, it would scare her a lot, but she had decided NEVER to have sex in campus.
The letter of admission, that first day in campus, and mostly the love of her God, would see her through. This time unlike her first day in High school, she would not be ashamed of Christ, of the one thing that had been constant in her life. Her God!
Campus proved to an adventure, one that completely transformed her life forever, that taught her love and hate at the same time.
“I have run the race, I have fought the good fight, and now all awaits me…” those are the words that she wanted to say, the day she walked out campus, with a degree on one hand and her possessions on the other. A satisfied feeling in her heart, knowing, she had ran the race successfully because it wasn’t about winning. Did she?
Posted by
Edward Karani
7:12 AM
In a family of four boys, and being the only girl you would think that Elizabeth would have all the time in the world to look at herself in the family mirror, one that was stationed in the verandah right after the sitting room, it invited any one coming or leaving their residence to take a quick glance at their reflection. The verandah unlike all the other areas in the house was cool, because of the breeze that the endless trees that Mark had planted blew. At that point Elizabeth gazed at her image, she often wondered how the women on TV managed to keep such a sleek figure even after giving birth to children. It always baffled her, after every child she had, her body was never the same, and it just kept on changing.
She had three children and her tummy had never been the same, it had gone from being flat, that had been one of the things that Mark had liked about her. When they had met in the market place, could not help but stare at the beautiful slim woman, who was wearing a skirt that almost fell over her knees, giving him the opportunity to glare at the beautiful long legs. Her breasts lay shyly over her chest, and her stomach was flat, he wanted to run his hands over it. And he did, after their wedding all he would do was touch her stomach, at first she assumed he was doing that to see if she was pregnant yet, a few months later when she actually became pregnant she realized that she had given him a lot of credit. He was just a typical African male, forever clueless.
Nonetheless even after the birth of their three sons, nothing ever changed for their family the love for each other increases.
After she gave birth to her second son, Elizabeth slowly began to realize that she might actually become the only girl in her family, and eventually she did, she loved every moment of it. Though her two teenage sons, Dan and Timothy actually treated her as one of the boys.
“Mom,” James would call her as she lay on the sofa, catching on some sleep, though she was pretended not to be.
“I am only closing her my eyes.” She would tell Jake her last born that had only joined class four that year. Naming her son Jake proved to be a mistake, especially in the Kenyan society, almost everyone, erroneously referred to her son as Jack.
“Kwani these people don’t watch TV.” She would roll her eyes in disdain.
Eventually she got used to it. Even Jake was now writing his name as Jack, after his class one teacher had caned him several times for not spelling his name correctly.
Maybe his name was Jack, after all, in his birth certificate, school registration, they had his name as Jack and from that day only his mother called him Jake.
“Mom.” James called his mother; they were watching a football match. She was sleeping on the sofa; the food was on the jiko in the kitchen, Timothy was cooking. They knew that if they wanted to know the food was almost ready, all they had to do was look at their mother’s nose, any sudden movement especially a twitch meant it was time to check on the food. Any sudden sound meant that the food was just about to burn, and any sudden body movement meant that the food was burnt and they had to get to it before she got up, otherwise, they would have to contend with a thirty minute lecture on ‘why you should not cook and watch TV at the same time.’ Which they hated!
She did not mind her boys watching football, anyway if she did not let them, they would hate her for life and they would keep on reminding her that she was always telling them not to watch TV, yet she was a number one fan of specific programs, namely:
Soaps.
As for her husband Mark, he was never a football man, neither were his peers, he always came home from work immediately then alongside with Elizabeth they would spend the rest of the evening talking loudly from church issues to work, making it impossible for the boys to watch TV in Peace.
“Mom.” James and Timothy exchanged a naughty look with his brother. She looked at James.
“What is Wayne Rooney doing today, did you see he missed that shot.” He would give his mother a serious look like she understood what he was blubbering about.
“Who is that?” She asked with a quizzical expression on her face.
“Ah, Mommie!” he would pretend to be dismayed. “Who doesn’t know Wayne Rooney?”
His mother would roll her eyes and go back to her sleep.
“What about Nani?” he would probe further as Timothy would anticipate his mother’s response.
“Nani?” she would open her eyes, glance at the television. “The ugly man running after the ball.”
Timothy and James would burst out laughing. They love teasing their mother just for kicks.
“There is nothing interesting about these footballers.” Elizabeth would start. The two boys would look at each other with a resigned look, once their mother began talking there was no way of getting her to keep quiet.
“They look like gunias.” She would go on to describe the footballers. “Like that worn out crate that I use to carry my vegetables to the market.”
The two boys would quickly burst out laughing.
“And yet young girls chase after them” she would sneer. “I don’t get it.”
She shakes her head in disbelief.
“Mom you are wrong.” Timothy would finally have something to say. “The reason they fall for these men, just like James here.” He would whisper the James part. Both his mother and James would give him a doubtful look. “Its because of the lines mom, Mistari.” He would stress.
“If you aint got the lines.” James would add. “You won’t get the girl.”
“I did not give birth to a gunia.” His mother would warn him. “All my children are very handsome like Ramsey Noah.”
They would both sneer.
They thought that was an insult coming from their mother, but she was always serious.
Now that the three were away in school, she could get some alone time and look at herself in the mirror. Her body had changed a lot, especially her stomach, a fact that could be attributed to her bearing of three children, Sons to be more precise. The damage they had done to her body was irreversible.
Her belief that Mark would stop loving her because of her distorted figure changed with time. He seemed to adore her even more. Their loved had grown from sexual to that of great affection and respect, With the birth of each of their child, the love that they had for each other just seemed to grow in depths.
She smiled, it was only during times like these, when Mark was away at work, James was in college, Timothy was in boarding school and Jake was safe in class at a nearby primary school that she could afford to steal a mirror moment and see the changes that her body had gone through. On an ordinary day, it all started with her Maasai husband, Mark, he would get up early and lit the fire like he had done all the while they had been married. It was like his duty, after dressing, he would immediately position himself in the mirror as he tried to tie his tie, eventually, he would either stop a passing tenant or call James to help him with his ties, he had been taught how do tie his tie several times but he just could not get the hang of it.
He would grill the poor tenant who would probably be tying his tie reminding him that his rent was a couple of days overdue, the conversation would usually end with an invitation to attend church with the family. After Mark, James would use the mirror to rehearse his lines.
“Girl your teeth are so white, they should have fired Mr. beaver and hired you instead.” James would smile at himself.
Timothy and Jake would just watch in disbelief.
“Teeth are so white, that when you wake up and smile people think that the sun has risen.” He would go on.
“Your teeth are so white that I can see my refection in them.” He would smile cheekily.
Timothy and Jake would join him in the mirror.
“You teeth, teeth, teeth.” Timothy retorted. “Kwani, you now work for Colgate or something.”
“You are just jealous.” James would respond. “Kijana.” He would point at his youngest brother. “Who is that handsome dude who is staring at you.” He would point at his reflection in the mirror.
“Oh, its me.” He would reply. “My God, I am so good looking.”
He would concentrate on his image. “When God made me, he must have thought. ‘David kando!”
The two younger boys would just laugh. No doubt James was a good looking boy, he was not bad to look at, but the shy Timothy was pleasant to look at, the fact that he was quiet added to his mystery that made girls always wanted to talk to him. He feared them, he thought that he had all the time in the world, hence girls were the least important, KCSE topped. And boy wasn’t he working hard.
After James, Timothy would stand in front of the mirror brushing his teeth, the only part of his body he gave much attention to. He was a hard worker and everyone appreciated that, the girls gave him a hard time because of his looks.
That was until after sitting for only two papers, his head began to ache, he had had the headache for a while but it was becoming worse. By the time of being sent home, he could not even sleep, the next day he was in so much pain, his head was swollen all the way to his neck. The whole family was scared as they rushed him to hospital. Scans revealed that there was a tumor just outside his nasal area of his right eye; they needed a biopsy to find out whether it was a cancerous.
A few days later, he could not breathe, he could not eat, and he was screaming in pain. The whole family watched helplessly as the love of their life drifted away.
The love of their life
Is slipping away
They’re losing the fight
For another day
The life that they’ve known
Is drifting away
A sonless home
A brother less home
A family’s broken heart.
They were losing their son…
Posted by
Edward Karani
7:11 AM
If there a hole inside my heart, then you are the only person, who can ever fill it. If there is a man who knocks me of my feet, then it must be you. I cannot believe that I got the opportunity to fall in love with you. If I could live, one thousand lives, bind the hands of time, I would spend every moment with you. I have never known I love like yours, and I don’t think I will ever love another man as much as I love you, or in the same way that I love you. You have been the only constant in my life. From the very first moment we met, our fate was sealed, it was love at first sight, at least for me it was, from that time until now, no man has ever being able to arouse my heart the way you do. The feeling you give me is simply indescribable, I cannot describe it to anyone else, even if I wanted to shout it out to the world, what words would I use, all I know is that I love you and I need you so much because you are all I am living for.
It wasn’t your looks that attracted me to you, but the way you carried out yourself. “You know many a man claim to have unfailing and undying love, but a faithful man who can find.” I did.
You are the sort of man, who is not defined by his looks; many men are lost in this area. You do need a fat cheque book or a fancy car or house to make you confident, and feel like a man in false egoistic attempts. Like Matthew, the poor man who grew up in abject poverty, then he married the lovely Helen, who helped him start a spare part business, which has made him to be a millionaire, but all that time, he never felt like he was man enough, so to prove that he was a man, after he got the money, he took in another women, not just one but multiple, on countless occasions on account of his manliness he managed to infected his wife, Helen with a sexually transmitted diseases, not once. His confidence was based on money, without it, he was just plain pathetic. But not you, your confidence is in God, maybe that is what I love most about you…God.
Your love for me is unexplainable. Sometimes all I want to hear is all about you, the greatest love of my life. Tell me the story of my love, write on my heart every word, and tell me the story most precious. I have found a friend in you, my love and you are everything to me, what no other man could give me, and you did. In sorrow you are my comfort, in joy, you are there to share it with me. You are always there.
Whenever I think of you, my heart is filled with such awe, and amazement, it swells up with the pleasure of knowing a perfect man like you could love an imperfect woman like me. When I think of how much you love me, the longing in heart increases and all I want to see is you, my love, to hold and forever sing of my love forever. You make my heart beat in a systematic rhythm, in a love song for my beloved. I could sing of that love forever.
The Bible says that a man should love a woman like he loves his body, in the same way he takes care of his body, then he should care for his wife, defend her to the point of laying down his life for her.
“Greater love has no man than this
than a man should give his life for a friend.” I know you love me because I can feel it.
“There is no fear in love, and perfect love drives out fear.”
At times all I can do is be quiet in utter reflection, in full knowledge that no man could ever love me as you do. I have the blessed assurance that you are mine and that no one could ever separate me and you. Not even death. You are my greatest love, the one that I think of always. Tell me the story of my love; write on my heart every word. Oh my love, how I love you, I could search for all eternity and find there is only one man who can give my heart search an unspeakable joy, such peace, an everlasting peace, such love pure and holy love, the one every woman dreams of, the one that can make a woman say:
“My man loves me.”
The one, which is very hand to comprehend, he makes my heart glad. My heart at times wants to shout and dance for joy, especially when I am alone with him. It is enough for me just to seat by his feet and listen to him talk. Because of his great love for me, how great a debtor, daily I am constrained to be.
“My greatest love is him.”
Find no use for valentines, because he has been with me every step of the way. He has not walked away from me yet. I am not be the best lover in the world but one thing I am sure of, my love, is that my love for you has remained constant; you are still the one that I want to be with. Even when I walked away from you, I loved you, yes, but I could not help but doubt your love for me.
“Is it real?”
I asked myself. You do remember that time. I was so sure that you could not be for real, a man like you, who could love a woman who is as undecided as I am could not simply exist. I pushed you away, I remember how sad you were as I did this, but I did not deserve your love, I could see the tears in your eyes, you did not understand why I was doing this, why I was walking away from you. Well, baby, I thought I loved you more, I thought over time and I grew older, your love for me would end. You see other women, curvier, sexy, with better hearts and more beautiful than me. I could not believe that a man can love a woman forever, love ends, that is what the marriages around me had taught me, not to give my love wholeheartedly lest I get hurt, too always leave room for doubt. Remember Mama Peter, no sooner had she died than her grieving husband took in the maid as the new wife, four months after burying his wife, we were planning his wedding, how much was his love for her, because my sweet heart, remember Esther, that day after our meeting, I was standing outside our gate, thinking about you. When she came running, panting, and her afro hair was undone and seemed to be pointing towards the sky. Her clothes were dirty it seemed like she had fallen over and over again and had also been involved in some physical fight with someone, her husband, David was hot on her heels, did you see what he did to her after she fell on a ditch.
That’s why I walked away, I thought that I needed sometime to clear my mind and move on from you.
I wasn’t prepared for the desolation that I experienced that’s why I came running back to you, that is when I realised that you only fall in love once, and you being my first love, you are very hard to forget.
That experience taught me a lot about my love for you, you see darling, when we started our relationship, I swore, not only to love you forever, but to be perfect for you. I said I would change, then at the end of it all, you would be so proud of me, I wanted a perfect love with no imperfections, I wanted to please you in every way, but the harder I tried, the harder I fell I could not love you as much as you loved me. You stayed even when I gave my heart to other men. Remember Moses, the cute guy with curly hair and a contagious smile, he knocked me off my feet, but it didn’t last long. There are times other men seemed better than you are, you stuck by me. I wanted to leave because I was sure that one day you would get tired of me and you would leave.
So this Valentines, when they say I see you and my heart goes paragasha, you and I both know that its true for us, I love you more than I love chips, pizza, and all the other junk food that I am addicted too.
B without BB is like a train without an engine then my life without you is like a body without a heart.
If Omo or Ariel removes all the stubborn stains, so do you remove the burdens from my heart and leave me free.
Cadbury’s chocolate may be a piece of love to others, but having your heart is all the love that I need.
Royco does not add as much flavour as you have done in my life.
I am not expecting chocolates or flowers from you, though a romantic dinner I wouldn’t mind, but what I want you to know for all the times that you have stood by me, through my moments of weaknesses and confusion, for walking with me when I was down on my knees, for the tear drenched shirts, for late nights, for understanding when I called on you, as a last option. At those times I did not even have the strength to crawl but you carried me. You are my world, and though my love for you is not perfect, I can boldly declare that: “I love you imperfectly.
…Jesus.”
From your lovely bride.
Posted by
Edward Karani
7:08 AM
“What!” the Kenyan president exclaimed, the Daily newspaper in front of him, stated than more than a hundred million shillings from the ministry of education that was supposed to fund the free primary education program had been misappropriated. “Call the minister of education now!” he ordered his secretary.
The president was on holiday in Mombasa for the Christmas holiday with his wife and three children. He paced around the room as wife and children watched, they knew he was just about to cut their holiday short. His secretary came back in.
“Sir, he is out of the country.” She said.
He moved as though to attack her, causing her to fall back.
“Doing what” his voice was fierce, the first lady knew that her husband hated any of his ministers sleeping around in their offices, while millions was stolen by corrupt officials.
“Maybe he is one of the thieves too.” He remarked as he walked around. “Let him stay wherever he is and enjoy the money because the minute he steps in this country, he is going to jail. Call a press conference.”
He was Kenya’s first forty five year old president. He had chosen to run for presidency using the ticket of a very small party that was virtually unknown to Kenyans. The Wazalendo party, but in each province he had been elected overwhelmingly. His wife was a well-known socialite who loved dressing in elegant West African attire and a headgear accompanied every outfit that she wore. A model wife, one who had the nation at heart, she had campaigned fiercely for her husband, defying every obstacle that labeled her husband as henpecked. His opponents had used every weapon that they could use against him.
“He has no tribe, how can he lead a nation that has forty two tribes.”
“Do not give this man the presidency, it is better for one us, from our tribe, to be at the top, so that we can be safe.” Others said.
“It is our time to eat.”
Their time had passed; they were speaking to a people that could not be easily dissuaded, a people that had made up their minds.
They ganged up, all the tribes against him, they presented a united font to Kenyans, and they all seemed determined to work together. “We will work together, for a united Kenya.” They said to virtually empty stadiums, the media was there they covered everything and showed it to the public, but whenever these politicians that had divided Kenya for so long were shown, people switched off their televisions. They were tired, of nation whose growth had stagnated even though it claimed to free.
They had had it with leaders, who for so long had applied the divide and rule so that they could remain in power and plunder the nation, and the masses, irregardless of the tribe had remained in abject poverty, while the leaders continued to increase in size, their earning tripled, they grabbed forests which they sold to the poor Kenyan people, only for them later to come back and accuse the poor people of land grabbing. They paid compensated billions of Kenya shillings, for land they had stolen.
They had turned an entire nation into a nation of beggars; while they used every single cent they could to amass wealth.
No wolf in sheep clothing could convince Kenyans otherwise, they wanted a leader by the very sense of the word, they were tired of tribal cocoons, they were tired of killing each other every other general elections, they were ready for a new start, they wanted a man or a woman who would unite them as Kenyans, a president of the people, a man of the nation. One who would dream, live and work for Kenya only. A leader led by the heart and not his pockets or his stomach. One who would not forget about the people who gave him the power, one who would work day and night for a better Kenya.
The politicians cried out to Kenyans. “Give us a chance to unite this nation, from the Kikuyus, Luos, Kalenjins, we will heal this nation where blood has been shade.”
“Heal!” Kenyans asked. “On our ignorance you have thrived, so as to divide us. It is because of you have many have lost their lives, because of your divide and rule policies. We have lost our parents, children, neighbors, brothers and sisters, our land and so many things but as Kenyans we have decided we will not lose our lives aimlessly.”
They had dropped some of the politicians from other communities to see if the majority would be appeased but nothing seemed to work. They resulted in blaming the media.
In the more than forty years that Kenya had been independent, these leaders had had thousands of chances to prove themselves, there had been droughts that ravaged the nation, time and time again, yet they had done nothing about it, even as the food prices went up, they did not care, after all they had their tax free salaries and allowances. When Kenyans died of hunger, they just watched and exclaimed over lavish dinners. “The government is doing something about it.”
Drought and famine came and went, thousands of lives were lost; it was the international community that came and saw them through. Disaster unprepared ness saw hundreds of Kenyans lose their lives over and over again. They had finally learnt they hard way.
Floods had lavished the land, deforestation had taken place, and Kenya was on the blink of collapsing as a state. Kenyans were shocked to hear their leaders state that rain came from heaven and that trees contributed nothing at all. Dare say that in the new Kenya, and next day, you will not be a leader anymore. The scandals were increasing by the day, from Golden berg to stealing funds meant for free primary education, no type of scandal was new to Kenyans, they were used to it. The politicians’ and the people in high places were now inventing new ways of stealing. There motto. “No amount is too huge to be stolen.”
Yet the presidents had watched and did nothing while Kenyans, were being plundered. Nothing was said silence filled the air. After all, you could not punish your friends.
Alas, Kenyans realized that a country got the leaders it deserved, and whenever there were calamities, even though they voted as tribal bloc, they died as Kenyans. They decided that it made no sense for the to die to lose their costly lives, because enough blood had already been shed for that course. They wanted change!
You can never oppress a people forever; an oppressed nation cannot remain oppressed forever.
“Enough!” they said with one voice. “We are tired of being used.”
Indeed they were, as the general elections drew closer, the politicians realized they were fighting a losing battle. They were staring defeat in the face. The world watched in awe. There was strength in unity, the people realized. The winds of change had swept over the nation of Kenya. There was no turning back.
Posted by
Edward Karani
7:07 AM
As a child, in Kenya you will learn to interact with children from all over the country and different ethnicities, if you are lucky and the play station bug does not bit your parents, you will get to spend time in the great outdoors. The great thing about your neighborhood is that its not a rich neighborhood, the people there have enough to see them through all their activities, such as food rent, schooling and all their other needs, so they are not poor. Your parents will own rental property in that neighborhood; don’t be shocked if the houses are rent out to people of a particular political arraigning. If you are not careful you might follow in the same footsteps. Remember ‘if the person seems from a different ethnic affiliation asks if there is a house to rent judging from their physical appearance, as well as their accents you can tell them there is or their in not.” That is regardless of the “House to rent.” Notice.
That is what your parents will tell you when you are old enough. You might end up like them after all an apple does not fall very far from the tree.
In that same place you will have great memories of the different people that live there, you will all try to speak each others languages, every time you meet. In future every time you remember that it will bring tears to your eyes because it will remind you of a love you never thought about. Neighbors borrow from each other burning charcoal so that they can light their jikos, women watch over each others children, they also help each other whenever one has a visitor or occasions such as weddings or graduation parties, making outside caterers completely unwanted. Ever heard that a child belongs to the society and not the parents, they take that saying very seriously where I am sending you. Incase you have run out of salt borrow from your neighbor.
The children must be the most friendly, they know the people in their neighborhoods who they fondly call ‘Auntie’ or ‘Uncle’ that is until they learn their names, hope you will grow up to be an adorable child just like them.
The very same children that you play with daily, go to church with, seat next to in school, they are ok, if they remain that, but do not consider opening a business with them, or even marrying them, otherwise, your parents might disown you and you might become the laughing stock of your community. You mother will never accept any other woman who is not from your ethnic background.
Some of these ‘tribal’ negativity will not occur to you now, it’s only as you grow up that your ethnic identity will come deeply rooted in you. To avoid these you will need to close your eyes and your ears to a lot of things, especially to the people who might try to incarnate tribalism into your mind.
As you grow up, the price of basic items will keep increasing, for instance the price of bread, milk, maize and wheat flour will keep increasing. Do not be deceived it’s not normal my child, ask Kamlesh Pattni he knows what he did, he is partly to blame. You see when politicians and prominent businessmen steal millions sorry, billions it destabilizes the economy…the rest you will learn in school.
In your country of destination, make sure you are not among the ‘small fish,’ other wise you will have no friends, anywhere, well maybe except for your wife and your children. You see if you happen to fall among the so called ‘small fish,’ though they say that forty things are for the thief, for the small fish, they are drastically reduced by more than three quarters, to sum it all up, your days are numbered. The government will sentence you to death for robbery with violence that is after you robbed a woman of her thirty shillings, while the men who are responsible for the deaths of millions of Kenyans because of robbing the poor, using the money meant to buy medicine or hire new doctors for the Kenyan hospitals which are currently understaffed, will live to enjoy their loot.
‘The key to a prosperous nation, ‘ they will tell you, ‘is must forgive, the big fish and not the small fish.’
Funny enough even your fellow small fish will be baying for your blood, when they get hold of you, they will stone you, beat you up senseless, they will pour petrol on you and burn you alive, but come the next general elections they will vote for the same people that has stolen billions that could have ensured a better life for them, the same people that have stolen jobs meant for their sons, will be put in power, all in the name of tribesman ship.
You will be taught to hate the other tribe which will be thought to be the enemy tribe, while you will hate when people from other races think that you are inferior to them, you will always think that it is unfair, yet you are the same as them. It’s a vivacious circle, you hate them, others hate you, and funny enough you will have stereotypes of each other. There will the thief, the lazy one, the poor one, the witchdoctor, the sexual savages, the prostitutes, the unseen and the unheard, among other stereotypes
The rich will go on being richer, in your country, the warriors that fought for your independence will be remain poor while a few individuals will hold huge parcels of lands which was given to them as a reward, the poor will go on being poor and will keep on voting for the very people that have subjected them to abject poverty.
Well, to be honest my child, it is not only the politicians who will try and take advantage of you but everyone else, let us just say that as country you will be out to take advantage of each other, in every way possible, business men will be experts at taking advantage of you, despite every attempt to help them reduce prices of vital commodities such as maize flour and wheat flour, it will keep rising, I am afraid by the time you get there, you might not be able to afford it. The government of the day will lend the farmers, maize, wheat and sugar a hand in exploiting its people by claiming to protect these industries, they will bar the importation of these commodities which are under produced so as to protect the interest of the few, and nothing will be done to meet the deficit. As you will come to learn that when demand is higher than the supply then the prices will definitely shoot up, that is business, if you are lucky enough you may learn it in school, if it is not replaced by other foreign languages. Yet there are more than forty-two languages in your country of destination, why not start with those before moving out.
But whenever alcohol levies are introduced, the prices will fall almost immediately. Funny.
That reminds me, in the country that I am sending you, you will be encouraged to learn foreign languages and speak them, proudly and confidently, but don’t you dare speak your mother tongue in public, you will be labeled as promoting tribalism. You will dream of going to foreign lands because you will think that they are better than home, yet if you want a better country, why not make it the way you want it to be, instead of running away to foreign lands where the locals of these places have made them habitable for themselves and their children. Remember east or west, home is the best, you will never forget it, no matter how far you run away.
My servants will also try and take advantage of you, sadly, they will take away millions from you in exchange for miracles, but my child if you could read my word you world realize that there no one point I asked for money so as to heal anyone.
The touts and policemen are among other people who will take advantage of you, if it rains the touts will increase their fare charges, policemen will require money just to offer you services, all to satisfy their greed. Yet, it will disappear from their hands as soon as they have gotten it.
Your performance in the national exams does not matter that much, there are a lot of determining factors, such as the province you are from, your parents economic status, as well as the political power that your parents yield. Do not be shocked if you live in a place and do not know the constituency it falls even after living there for more than ten years.
You will laugh and make fun when politicians steal billions, I do not see the joke in that, and they do. You will be left in stitches when politicians, all in the name of African traditions glorify adultery and fornication, yet it will not cross your mind that it might be one of the reasons why sexually transmitted diseases are rampant in your country. I take no pride in such talk, neither should you; it is not funny but rather sad and heart wrenching.
In your country people will take to the streets for all the wrong reasons, like the university students might throw stones at peoples car because they do not have electricity. While for other important issues such as lecturers who rarely show their faces in class, or their classes being sold to foreigners, they will keep quiet in fear of being sent home. Kenyans themselves will prefer to demonstrate over leaders but as the food prices increases or the loss of billions through corruption, they will maintain an audible silence. They will do nothing about it.
They will tell you that in your country there are over forty two tribes, but they will never tell you which ones they are, that’s something you will have to find out for yourself, though you will never know, the much you might know are ten and if you are lucky enough at least twenty five, but that’s on the higher side. You may think that that ‘cultural studies’ would be one of the compulsory subjects, where you would get to learn the names of the forty two tribes, their geographical location and their history, not so. Why can’t they be proud of their skin, I love it.
Am I sending you to a country of utter hopelessness? I’m I sending you to die or to be killed in the increasing insecurity? I’m I that cruel? Is there no hope for your country? Well all that depends on one factor. You.
If you think that the hope off your country is in the next generation, then there is no hope, because if there is no hope today, how can there be tomorrow? You have already killed hope then. Plan your time wisely, do not waste it, if there is something you can do today to make Kenya better, do it. A wise saying goes. “If you are not part of the solution then you are definitely part of the problem.”
If there is nothing you are going to be doing about the problems of tribalism and corruption in your country, then you are part of the problem. Do not pass the problems of today to those that are not yet born, they have their own fight to fight and their own race to run. Yours is today and not tomorrow.
There is a lot I would love to say to you but it is time, my child, I can see your parents are only too eager to start the process. Do not forget me, because it’s only for a short while until you come back to me again.
Have a nice life.
From
Your Loving Father
Posted by
Edward Karani
7:06 AM
So far only my eyes have seen your unformed body in the depths of the earth, as you were being made in the secret place, only I have seen this wonderful and most fascinating process that results in life. It is amazing as it breathtaking, and with every life that I bring forth, the only word that I seem to think of is “perfect!” So tonight is the beginning for you, for I have created your inmost being and tonight, I will knit you together in your mothers womb, your time has come.
My child I am sending you into the world, but I cannot help but be worried at the kind of life that awaits you. Irregardless of how you are conceived, you will be born, who you parents are, whichever country you will be born into (Kenya), the family and their social status, or the amount of wealth that they have, whether like Bill Gates, they have a lot of money, that they have no idea how to use the money or even what to do with it, some make good use of it, others, sadly enough it ends up destroying them. Yet haven’t I declared that if I give you wealth, I will help you enjoy it and I will keep you preoccupied all the days of your life such that you don’t have to worry about it, or whether you have enough?
Or if you are born into a poor family, who all they have to give, is love. If you are born in a developed or a developing country, or a peaceful and economically thriving country, or a war ravaged and poor nation, whether your skin color is black, white, yellow, brown or any other color that you may think of, your physical appearance and your looks. Know this my child. I am your Creator and I make no mistakes. I make them tall, while others I make them short, I give some great wealth, while others I give them nothing. I make all people of all colors, creeds and races. But don’t get me wrong, I am not a sadist or a hater; I do not enjoy it when people suffer. I am not a meanie as people on the earth will have you think. I do not rejoice in peoples suffering. Whenever children die of hunger, women and children are raped and defiled, and men die in endless wars, it saddens my heart, and contrary to what they tell you that because like a magician, I do not wave my magic ward and make everything to be alright that I am not there. I am there, I am all knowing, all powerful and all seeing. The war that world finds in, is created because, they talk when they are supposed to remain silent. Plus you have a free will, if you want happiness, go for it, work for it, strive for it. Do not be deceived a man reaps whatever he sows.
Child, remember that I love you, irregardless of the circumstances that you find yourself in, physically or socially. Love makes the world go round, hatred only destroys it. Anyway I am sending you into a world that is full of strife, murder, hunger, obscenities and many other vile things. I am sending you to a particularly country called
Kenya.
Your details are as follows: -
Name: I will leave that to your parents, but I will let you in on a little secret on how your parents will do these. Your first name might be Zayuni or Tumaini, or Methuselah. No need to be alarmed, you can always change it in the future that is if you let people get to you, apparently people in that small country are getting fed up with Western names and they want a name they might identify with.
Your second name is given, you will be called ‘Mucene,’ or in English, ‘Gossip,’ after your paternal grandfather, as per tradition, he was a man after my very own ears, he could hardly keep his mouth shut even while he was sleeping. He gave us quite a laugh while he was on earth. He was a personal favorite.
You see child, every human being is special, each is created in my own image but they all have their own unique attributes that makes them special. If people would realize that they would stop viewing people from their own point of view and they would see them as I do. People will disappoint you as they have me several times. You see I have loved you and them with an everlasting love. As far as the East is from the West so is my love for them, I do not hold grudges and I am not a petty God as they make me to be. I forgive and forget, I am not out to punish people, all I would want for them is to repent so that I can forgive them and they can live their lives without fear.
Destination: Kenya
Country Profile: Kenya is a small country in East Africa, one that I have placed strategically. It boasts of being a very tolerant country but when you get there you will know that there is nothing like that, they are simply putting up with each other, which is not bad if only they would add some love to it. Then they would not have to put up with each other.
As a nation, they have no idea how many they are in number, the Kenya national Bureau of statistics and the Ministry of planning which conducted a census last year and where supposed to release the results more than a week ago but apparently they both have contrasting results. So it safe to say that I know the number, Kenyans don’t. From my throne we see a lot interesting things, some are sad and at times the thought of revoking free will crosses my mind, but you are not a robot, I will not manipulate you in any way, people must make their own decisions, follow their hearts and accept the consequences their after.
Your country is very beautiful. It is endowed with a lot of physical and natural resources. You will have the opportunity of seeing lots and lots of wild animals, lions, zebras, antelopes, rhinos, leopards, elephants and many other rare animals that may not be found in other areas in the world. But all these depends on your parents, I doubt they are really into domestic tourism. It is sad that they may die without having visited and seen the marvels and wonders of nature in their own country. Even I myself thought they were good and beautiful when I created them.
Kenya is a multiethnic nation, that’s means you have a rare opportunity of learning forty two different languages. Please do not use that opportunity to kill people from different ethnicities. Whether they are 5 and you number five million, please apply the biblical principles to it.
One thing you should not about your countrymen is that though they have the power, they rarely use it. They only think that it is only during the general elections that they can exercise their power. Sadly enough, that is not the case; they do not know that they do not have to put up with corrupt leaders. Maybe they don’t know that they only have today, tomorrow or the five years to the general election is not theirs. It is mine. After all they are like flowers quickly fading, here today, gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapour in the wind. For like the flower of the grass they will pass away.
‘For the sun rises with it scorching effect, and whithers the grass, its flower falls and its beauty perishes.
Maybe people should pass by Lang’ata cemetery every now and then, they my realize that all they have is today, tomorrow is not theirs for taking or claiming or whatever your Kenyan preachers will tell you.
The city you will live in is Nairobi, the capital; you will be among the few Kenyans whose parents have lived in the capital for generations. Because of that, you will always have Nairobi at heart.
My child as you make your entry into this world through Pumwani maternity hospital, you may face a lot of uncertainties, like if your parents are really your parents, because of that you might even doubt your sex, because your mother might insist that her child is female and not male.
It has been said that I have not created all people equal, find out from my word if that is true, I have said:
‘God created man in his own image
In the image of God he created them
Male and female.’
In me, there is neither male nor female, Greek or Jew, Free or a slave, you are all equal. So, my child, do not annul the decree that all men are created equal. At times I don’t get it, what is wrong with being equal.
Now child I am sure you can hardly wait to be born, but there is something’s I would like you to know about how life is growing up in Kenya, what to expect and what not to, read on…
Posted by
Edward Karani
6:51 AM
Decisions have to be made, and toughs one at that, David’s death had reminded Anne that she did have forever to live and all she had was a day, maybe minutes. Four weeks into her first semester as a fourth year student at the university of Nairobi, she had decided, that for a long time she had been a double minded young woman all the while that she had been in campus most of the time was spent being jealous of Mercy and other girls because they seemed to have everything that she did not have, boyfriends, good looks, you name them. There had been no time that Mercy had been without a boyfriend in campus, yet for Anne she had never dated anyone in campus. They never seemed to come her way. It seemed she would graduate without a boyfriend, in and out of campus. But now she was glad they never did come her way, she had blamed her short stature, bad genes, her sister had gotten married at 35, and at some point, the youth pastor wanted them to pray against that spirit of ‘unattractiveness’ or a demon, that had been her problem all along, wanting to be loved and accepted by people, now she knew that the most important part was accepting herself. She looked at the mirror in her room and smiled. She had been trying so hard, now as Casting Crowns would put it.
“She was trying so hard,
To stop trying so hard.”
A few months earlier, she had bought a pencil jeans trouser which she wore with a very nice fitting top, and the eyes of many men turned, one even asked for a number, looking good was great, it made her feel good and confident, now she knew that looking great was essential, but it should never be the epitome of her confidence.
“I should not date someone just because they look great,” she breathed in, her literature book was open, she was supposed to be working on an assignment, but her mind could not help but wonder, a packet of chips lay on the bed near her books.
“ I may not have known this Lord, but I would love to get married to someone like David, “ she smiled and glanced outside. “ I mean, Lord, the least you could have done is to allow him to get married. I would have loved to attend the wedding, and see who the lucky bride would have been.”
She almost laughed, knowing David and the life that he lived, if he had a chance to come back to earth, he wouldn’t. He was now the bride.
“ I am prepared to wait for the perfect one for me, “ she went on, “ who when he sees me, will proclaim, at last here comes bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”
Anne had come to realize that perfect did not mean ‘tall dark and handsome,’ or ‘ordinary’ or ‘short,’ or ‘moneyed,’ or any other thing, she realized that perfect meant, a man or woman who would see something more in her, other than looks and dressing, it might be along wait, but why get married only to be divorce later, or coming to realize much later, that marriage was the biggest mistake of your life, she did not want that, and if a man was ashamed of her, then she would not date him.
Jason, her former roommates boyfriend had come to visit her a day earlier, now that the school of medicine had closed until January, her room mate had already moved out, Jason was just taking advantage of the situation, she let him in. She showed him the chair but he chose to sit on the bed, seeing the books, he thought she would also sit with him, but this time, she sat on the chair, far way from him.
“ How have you been?” he asked her. “ Aki nimekumiss,” (I have really missed you.)
Anne saw the look on his face, one of lust; she knew what he wanted,
“I haven’t changed my number,” she said coldly. “ Remember, Anne with gentleness and respect,” she reminded herself, she wanted to be really nice but honest with Jason, yes, he was handsome, even Jeremy the Kenyan big brother housemate did not match up to him, he almost looked like a pointee (half cast), but she did not love him, and was not attracted to him, he really did look as though he was high on something.
“ Sorry, if I have not called,” he began rubbing his hands together. “ I wanted to break up with Julie first.”
Anne wanted to laugh, but it was anger instead that filled her heart, Jason had lied, they were very much together, her former room mate had called a few day earlier and had mentioned something about Jason visiting her parents.
“Ah,” she began; she wanted to tell him off. “ Then why did you visit her at home.” she felt her heart burst out. May be he wanted her parents to be part of the break up too.
“ Now you and me can be together,” he told her. “ Aki Anne, I love you so much,”
Anne could see that he wanted to shift from his position he seemed restless.
Even before Anne could speak, he moved over to her chair and pushed her gently and sat at the edge of the chair. But this time it was different, she did not feel anything, she was in control of her body. She got up and sat on her bed, Jason followed her, she moved back to her chair, and Jason got up.
“Zi! (NO!) She exclaimed. “ Sit down.”
He seemed shock.
“ Sit!” she said in a stern voice.
“Jason,” she breathed in, she did not want to hurt him. “ We,” she pointed to him and her as though he did not understand English. “ Cannot, and will never be together.”
Jason seemed shock.
“But…”
She cut him short.
“I know you went to meet Julie’s parents,”
A look of guilt filled his face.
“I know you love Julie,” she said with conviction, “and you want to marry her at some point, so the big question is why are you wasting my time? What do you want Jason?”
Jason was speechless.
Anne got up. “I do not want to be your mapango wa kando (the other woman), not now not ever.”
Jason got up and stood next to her, he took her hand but she pulled away. “ I really do love you, Anne.”
Anne was now at the point of satire.
“ You don’t love me, you lust after me,” she told him blankly. Jason tried to place her hand around her but she violently shoved him away. “There is a difference, between love and lust.”
“We are done Jason,” she told him frankly. Jason began to walk towards the door.
“Jason,” Anne called him suddenly, he turned hoping for a change of heart. “HIV is real and it is your duty to protect yourself and Julie, it doesn’t chose, be careful, why are you destroying your life.”
Jason was stunned at her brutal honesty, he had multiple partners, but he was always safe, he loved Julie, but he had gotten carried away, his lecturer had lied to him that man must live and he cannot live without it.
“Please, stay away from me Jason,” she told him. “ I am a wrong number.”
Andrew, the married man had tried to contact her, but she ignored his calls, eventually she sent him a message.
“ Please, you are married, respect your wife, and stop chasing after women.”
He had sent her a message in response.
“I admire that you respect marriage, I got married to the wrong woman, you are the one.
She never replied, he sent her money via Mpesa, 20000 Kenya shillings as a sign of commitment, did she return the money to him, no! She withdrew every single cent out and deposited the money into Mercy’s account who did not have any place to go, her parents had heard the rumors, they had gone to see her in school, apparently, someone had sent them an anonymous test message that she was HIV positive and was going to die very soon.
“How,” her mother was screaming. Her father had never set foot in her room ever since she joined school that was his first and last time.
Her father just stood behind his mother quietly with her two sisters and brother, behind him. Anne was at the door, while Mercy was seated down, she knew if her father got anywhere near her, he would definitely kill her, no wonder her mother was standing between them.
“ Mercy, why did you do this to us?” her mother asked. “What shame is this…” her father the revered reverend doctor bishop Mark patted his wife on the back, indicating that it was his turn, as the judge of the household to give out his verdict, deliver a ruling, her two younger sisters and brother, looked scared, as an elder sister, Mercy felt she had failed them terribly.
“Mercy,” he called her.
Getting up. “ Yes father.”
“From today onwards,” he began, Mercy looked at him with uncertainty. “ Do not call me father anymore.”
Her destiny was sealed.
“I don’t want to see you in my house, church, any of my businesses, or talking to any of my children,” he pointed at her siblings behind him. “You are a shame and a disgrace, and I want you to know that I have disowned you too, a waste of money, and you can be certain of this when you die, we will throw your body to the dogs.”
He left, he was running late for a miracle service that was intended to heal people with HIV/Aids.
It was tough week for Mercy, with no family and friends to turn too, no money, she did start to appear weakly, maybe that’s what they call stigma, but when they describe it, in the newspapers, it does not seem so bad, until you experience or see someone going through the pain of rejection.
The row that Mercy sat in the TV room, there was no one else except for Anne, and nobody wanted to sit next to her, as long as she was there, no matter, how crowded it was, there was always space, even when she moved away, they thought the some of the germs remained behind and they avoided that row. It killed Anne to see the pain, humiliation and rejection that Mercy was going through.
She did tell Mark, her boyfriend about her status, and that became the ugliest break up in campus, ever. He had literally attacked her; Mercy was saved by the fact that Anne was headed to her room. The pain of betrayal in his eyes was confident.
Mercy wanted to defer schooling for a bit, but the week that followed, Anne and her went for counseling, and she decided to face HIV head on. She started a support group for students with HIV, it was really Anne’s idea, and they placed it on the notice in all the hostels. They would meet in secret places, out of campus and they all needed a card to prove that they were positive, because of the stigma associated with HIV, with the hope that one day, they would walk around freely in school, in those four weeks a lot had happened, Mercy was learning to accept, her new status as she made new friends, who really did understand her fears. Anne provided them with the literature they needed, Mercy had promised herself that she would be there the years that followed to orient the first years about HIV/Aids from a personal experience. They had big dreams, and Andrew had provided them with capital, Anne and Mercy kept laughing at that, if Andrew had known sending her money would not move her in any way, he would have send her any. Their group had met twice and they really did encourage one another.
While Mercy was learning to live positively, Anne was learning to live as a person affected by HIV, and not to be scared that if she helped her friend, she might get infected. Slowly but surely they were getting to the place where they wanted to be. Where it wasn’t about what her youth pastor or the people in her life said, it was about God.
But the toughest decision Anne made was to keep on pursuing her dreams; she wrote it down in big letters in her prayer journal and made a prayer.
“It is not easy, this dream in my heart Lord.”
She breathed, “ but I will run after it with my whole heart, because eventually I will catch it.”
She sang a song by Newsboys that made her song made her heart glad: -
“Lord, I don’t know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt.’
She would not give up. “I will chase it to the point of death, that is the only time that I am ever going to give myself rest from all these, but it will not cause me to worry.”
She smiled, her greatest fear had been dying without accomplish her dreams, or being an old woman, and still not having accomplished her dreams, and they were still big, she realized that was wrong, the effort and the determination counted the most that the accomplishment, at seventy she would still be chasing after a dream, then at death she could proudly stand before the Lord and say.
“I have run the good race and I have fought the fight.” With a smile on her face knowing she did everything that she could possibly do.
The journey home that Saturday, Anne was singing her favorites song out loudly, she loved soft rock, and it was “million pieces’ by Newsboys, with ear phones in her ears, she did not notice the young man seated next to her, he seemed to be singing along too to the song. They both alighted at the same stage. When Adrian saw Anne he felt like a new man, who was all too marveled by a young woman singing a song from the same band he happened to like, he could feel at some point that his heart had stopped beating. Anne had by that point taken off her ear phones and was trying to cross the road still singing, waiting for the road to be clear. Adrian standing next to her, she still had not noticed him.
“ They all fall like a million raindrops,”
Adrian sang the next part.
“ Falling from the blue sky, kissing your cares goodbye.”
Anne turned surprised, at the site of Adrian singing her favorite song, stuck in her mind, she was awestruck, and words failed her.
“You like newsboys too?” he asked.
“Ye…” she cleared her throat. “ Yes, a lot.”
“Me too,” his eyes lit up too, Anne could not help but blush, she could tell from the way he talked about the band, he was totally smitten just like her.
“I love, ‘he reigns and I need you,’” he went on. “ I need you, I need you, I need you.” He started singing.
“ You’re all am living for.” She found herself singing too, this time they both blushed.
“I have to go,” she turned to cross the road hurriedly, almost getting hit by a car, but Adrian pulled her back.
“Hey,” he safely made sure nothing happened to her.
“ I am sorry,” she was nervous.
“ It’s okay,” he told. “ So did you go for their concert, I think it was in Feb or March?”
“Yes,” she told him. “ It was awesome.”
He took her hand, gently like a gentleman helped her to cross the road. She did not resist, there was a peace in her heart that surpassed all understanding, like she had found something that she had been looking for so badly.
“By the way,” he said as they crossed the road. “ I’m Adrian.”
She turned to smile at him.
“Anne.”
And the rest as they say is history because she gave him her number immediately they reached the other side of the road.
Posted by
Edward Karani
6:50 AM
Anne had not known David for more than two years, but he had been her friend for a lifetime. David, he was her David. They had said, men like David did not exist, but they did, he was a friend and he had loved her at all times. She did not have to be his girlfriend for him to treat her well; in short he was not a hypocrite like most Christian men that she knew. While the others filled up their plates with food, he was more concerned if every had gotten their share. He would let her or any other lady who did not have a sit to take his, as close friends, they had gone severally, and he would pay even if she was not his girlfriend. Meaningful relationships, he called them, he believed that friends, real friends and family needed to spend time together. The first time when David started coming to their church, two years back, soon they become very good friends. He had once taken her to Angel’s coffee house, a very expensive coffee house. It was not the fact that it was an expensive coffee house that mattered but because his only reason for taking her out was that he wanted them to catch up, and find out how she was doing. In those two years that she had known him, they had always kept in touch, she called him, he called her, and they emailed each other constantly. Before he travelled, he had promised that they would go out for coffee; he was like that with all his friends and family.
He really loved his family and the people in his life, he treasured every moment. Honestly speaking she could not remember a time that she had been angry with him for any particular reason. David was bold, when a man in their church had taken on a second wife and the church seemed to be less concerned about this change of events, he had also chased his first wife and children away, all because he had a lot of money and his offering usually consisted of three quarters of the total amount given on any particular Sunday. It was easy to know if Mr. Gitonga had come to church the offering usually shot from around 10,000 to almost half a million She remembered joking about that to David.
He had gone to the senior Pastor and told him, keeping quiet was not the solution and that just because, Mr. Gitonga was a rich Christian it did not exempt to the statutes of the bible and asked the pastor to take the appropriate action, and he did. Mr. Gitonga never came back to church, the council, went on a collision path with David, but the rest of the church stood with him.
“I did not come to this church because it was the perfect church I could find,” David had told her many times. “I may not agree with the basic precepts of this denomination. Because at the end of the day, I am a Christian, and that’s all that matters.”
“There are so many things wrong with the church today,” he often told her. “But I will build my church at the powers of hell shall not prevail against it.
There was Anne was seated on her bed reading his eulogy and crying her heart out. Why would God take David, a man after the very heart of God, he loved God so much that his eulogy was just filled with words of how much he loved God. A Christian who stood for everything he believed in, and was not deterred by anything and everything. His heart for God made him love people with that same love. A smile always lit in his face, and unlike all the funerals that she had attended, this was the most difficult, because it was someone she loved and cared for. His eulogy was not forcing words, like he was a good boy, it truly stated his life as it were, at times it made her laugh, when it said that his favorite program was Inspecta Mwala, other parts made her cry, especially when she remembered that he had died suddenly in a road accident, and how he had given his life wholly.
The one thing that he had taught her was not to be a Sunday Christian, the one that is only concerned about others on Sunday, “how was your week” kind of Sunday Christian, he loved at all times. At times she did not understand God, why would He take a young man who loved him so much and was only committed to him, the night David died, she took her bible looking for the verses that could explain why he was gone. The David that she could easily talk to about things that bothered her, the one in the third year of her stay in campus asked her to set her goals, follow the dreams that God placed in her heart. He constantly reminded her that she only a step away from victory.
The thing that struck her about David is that even if he was from a rich family, he did not dress like it; he did not talk like it, though he was a very handsome twenty six year old young man. It was David that had made her realize that the value of a man is better determined by the heart not by his money or his looks. During the memorial service, she realized that most of the people were crying because they would miss him so much, they were no regrets in their hearts, but questions of why God would take such a young man, who had a pure heart, heart one Anne was looking for, who would spare time to spend time with his family and friends, cook for them, take them out without wanting anything in return. Who despite having a problem with his ‘r’ and ‘l’ could not help but keep on talking. He made her laugh her heart out; he was humble and full of confidence, how he attained that balanced never ceased to amaze.
He had gone to Mombasa on a relief mission to help some of the hunger stricken people in that province, they had been no missions in their church until David came, he had been on so many, and it was on his way from such that he died.
Anne went on crying, “I will not praise you in this storm Lord, why David, there are so many wicked people you could have taken, I could even have given you some suggestions,”
She could get it.
“David, loved you with a pure heart, why Lord? Why? father so many fake preachers, spreading false teachings about you, and you could only take David, whose mission was to make the whole world know you, and help the poor,”
She was now shouting, she felt angry at God. During the memorial service, as she viewed his body she could not help but notice the bruises on his face, she knew it was a bad accident; there had been very few survivors, after David’s bus rammed into an oncoming trailer. Tears filled her eyes again, something in her heart made her want to scream.
“Ah, Lord, David,” she still could not get, but who has ever gotten it. “Lord, David, my David, my friend David.”
Her older sister had noted the dedication that David had, even though they had only met once, she travelled for the funeral and was crying too. Not only her, others had only had about this great young man and they came for the funeral. Previously she had mocked Anne about hooking up with David, Anne had entertained her, David, was definitely the Ephesians 5: 25-32 husband material, the one who would love his wife forever, and would easily have given his life for her, over and over again. But the one thing that David would remain forever was her friend.
“Lord, I David would have made the sort of husband every woman deserves,” she cried. “he was only twenty six.”
“I don’t understand!” she was now at the point where the next time she opened her mouth again she would scream. She stood up, and tried to compose herself.
“Why Lord? “She said in between clenched teeth. “Why David, why now, there was so much he had planned to do. She turned to look at the window. “For you,”
“I don’t understand,” she repeated and sat down on her bed. “Why David? I don’t understand.”
The next couple of minutes, only sobs could be heard.
“Help me understand, Lord,” she wept. “In a country full of corrupt politicians, you should have taken one of them, why Lord, why?”
She got out of bed, still crying and got into the covers, she covered so that she could cry herself to sleep. It was not forth coming, she took her bible and opened Hebrews 12: 1, she read it, and thought about it for a while.
“You are now among the great crowd of witnesses that surround me David,”
She laughed in the midst of all her tears. David loved this verse.
“Would you believe that Akina Paul, Peter, and Stephen, “he would say with a glitter in his eyes, It was had not to notice, the excitement they shone. “Lined up on each side, and I can picture them saying, you can do it, you go David.”
She smiled as she reached out for a t-shirt to blow her nose in. That cloud of witnesses must have been pleased to see him. She could not help but wonder what it was like, now he was part of the great cloud of witnesses that surrounded her. She moved on to the book of 1st Corinthians, chapter 15. She felt that because Christ had resurrected, then she would also see David again. And this time it would be forever, she realized that there was so much of Christ in David, and very little of him, just like Enoch, David had walked with God until he was no more.
She would miss him terribly, a little bit composed she sat up and took the eulogy again and held it close to his chest.
“You have just gone ahead of me my friend,” Anne said. “ I don’t want to say goodbye,”
It was only in the memorial service as the body came in she had realized that, he was really gone, she had prayed for it to be a mistake and that he was alive but it was true, then as she viewed his body, she realized that as long she was on this earth, she would never see him again, and she could not believe it. Her friend was gone.
“But I have too,” she blew her nose again. “I will see you again.”
She wiped her tears away. “I know you are where you’ve always wanted to be.” The tears were back.
“But, this I am sure of, David,” she smiled. “Though I will not see you at church, or I will not get to hear your voice, or see your face again, or call you, or laugh with you, I have hope,”
She said that part with so much confidence.
“We will be together, and this time forever.” There’s a tone of finality in her voice. She began to pray.
“Lord, your word says, precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. David loved you and I loved him so much, tell him to say hi to the saints for me, ask him if King David is as cute as the bible describes him.
She stopped and smiled, opened her eyes. “Tell him, whenever I think of him, I will always remember of his love for you. And that I will miss him, and he will always be in my heart, and remind him that he owes me a date, so I hope for his sake there are restaurants in heaven”
She smiled and opened the eulogy to his favorite song: Indescribable by Chris Tomlin. She began to sing it, with tears in her eyes, she still went on, at the top of her voice: -
“Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by Name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God.”
The song would be in her heart forever. She slept hoping that on her first day in heaven it would be all about hugs of the people she had lost along the way.
In Loving Memory of Saint JOHN MUTUA YALLO “DAVID”
: One day only made the difference for me; your eyes spoke of a genuineness that I have never experienced in my life. God took the best, when he called you home.
Posted by
Edward Karani
6:49 AM
Mercy had gotten infected during her first year at the University of Nairobi, the best university, south of the Sahara and east of the Limpopo, the only university that used the article ‘the’, they had been told that were only two universities in Kenya, the University of Nairobi and others, that was her first, she gotten so carried away by the fact that for the first time she realized she was among the top ten percent top performers in her KCSE, she was the crème de la crème of society, her new found freedom, her mother and father were not there to tell her what to do, or push her around and give her curfews, in campus life began at night, fellowships were held at night, so was everything else, good and evil. They had told her about gold rush, but when an older, hot looking guy came her way, and he treated her so well, better than any guy had ever treated her, she did not seem to understand what it was all about anymore. Her first short lived boyfriend, it only lasted for a month, but it got her infected with HIV. After the orientation week, everything that they had been told about HIV, she as well as a majority of the other girls, it never seemed a reality to her or them, something that affected Africa, seemed a million miles away, in a place where it was believed to affect a lot of students. The night nurse had claimed that maybe just 4 out of 10 student’s maybe positive, a sad tale to tell.
Then where did all the ignorance come from.
She had used the morning pill, even though as a Christian she was supposed to be abstaining. Her only fear had not been HIV but pregnancy, the only physical evidence of the life she had been living. If she ever became pregnant her father who happened to be an associate Pastor of a Repent and be Saved ministries, the biggest of its kind in the country with 15000 members would kill her. Her father the revered ‘reverend Doctor bishop Miujiza’ had healed so many people with HIV, as well as other problems, but Mercy knew he could not heal her, she would be as a matter of fact, the biggest embarrassment of his life. There was no way he was going to recover from the shock that his daughter, the one he would all so mention, in his sermons often because she was in the university, was HIV positive.
Her boyfriend in first year, was a student representative in SONU, he was the Vice academic chair, ‘an honorable member’. He was also every girl’s dream. She had never seen a student who had a car in her life, his own room, while the rest shared. In his room, there was state of the art everything. He had a plasma TV, a lap top, a very nice looking lap top, a two stove cooker, a really expensive radio that was worth over 20000 shillings, he took her on a nice date, in SENSES, the most expensive, campus cafeteria ever, and she ordered, chicken and rice, she was on top on the world at that point. With the money, that he and other corrupt student leaders got from the all powerful politicians that supported them, so that campus politics was just as dirty as every day politics in Kenya, with the key determining factor being tribe, ‘ tribe,’ forgetting that the hope of an entire nation, lay on them, the future leaders, a sad tale, indeed.
Evans the SONU rep was also in his final year in school. He introduced her to alcohol, at that point, her friendship with Anne was dead, they were not talking, and she felt that Anne was jealous of her new found life. You see Anne was a rather ordinary looking girl, short, and a bit dark, not as coal though. Evans took her out to a party for the fresher’s, which Anne was totally against, because there was bound to be a lot of alcohol. Mercy came back to her room drunk. A month later, they went out clubbing, the whole night and then went back to Evans room, and they drunk some more alcohol, that’s when in a momentary lapse of reason and she had given herself away. The next day, she went for the morning pill fearing she could get pregnant, that had marked the end of her relationship with Evans, he had actually taken advantage of her ‘fresher’ mind, gold rush, ‘wahi kuwahi na fresher,’ ‘ponyoka na fresher,’ had proven to be true. Evans moved on to another fresher, it was like he was on a mission. He actually dated most of the girls in her class, that’s why the news of her status was quite shocking, and most of the girls in class had slept with some of the guys in class, maybe the whole class was infected, it was hard to know.
What they had said about the university, and the things that went on in there was not even a quarter of the things that actually went on in these great academic institutions. The last time she had gone to see Evans, his goons and her thrown out of the hostel. Now she was HIV positive and it was killing her, the words of comfort.
“Many people are living positively. You can do it”
Were just like adding insult to injury. It was easier said, when it was not you who had tested positive. She wanted to quit school, go back home, and die in peace. How would she ever tell her boyfriend, Mark, whom, she really loved that there’s was a possibility he was also positive. Everything was now past complicated. They had used protection at times, even though they all went to church, the same church as Anne, but what if she had infected him. All that time she had slept with him, knowingly, at first for revenge, then she had come to realize that she actually loved him and they had decided they should stop any other sexual relations and wait, a promise they had been unable to keep, especially since he had his own house and all. Actually, she had led him into temptation, she found out about her status, when Mark and her were already dating, by then, they had not slept together at all, she actually enticed him, for revenge.
During her second year in campus, as she went home for the weekend, she happened to board, the same matatu as Mark and David, they were coming from a Kesha. David sat on his sleep and slept, leaving Mark and Mercy to pass time talking, Mercy was a bit shocked he seemed so fresh, unlike David who was fast asleep.
“Are you sure umetoka, Kesha?” she asked. (Are you certain that you are coming from a Kesha?)
“Yeah,” he smiled at her.
Just then David turned and opened his eyes. She was seated in the middle, while Chris sat at the end and David near the window.
“How comes you look so fresh and vibrant unlike Davy.”
David smiled waiting for Mark’s response.
“Well, I made good use of my time.”
David laughed sleepily.
“Kesha for this dude ishad (finished) at 12 midnight,” he said. “The rest of the time, he was asleep, ameamka tukisema, (he woke up just as were saying) the grace.”
Mercy laughed.
“See the marvin he is wearing, don’t let it fool you, he pulled it down so that it covered his eyes and the rest as they say is history.” David joked.
Mercy looked at the mervin that Mark was wearing; she could not help but laugh.
“Zi!(no!)” he defended himself. “I was praying,”
They both laughed.
“From 12midnight to 5pm? “ David asked.
“In the spirit,” he joked.
Later on the conductor came to take their fare, Mark paid for all of them, and he gave the tout a one hundred shilling note.
“Watu watatu, (for three people)” he indicated.
The conductor took the hundred shillings note. “Ongeza twenty.” (That will cost you an additional twenty shillings.)
David who was asleep woke up.
“I thought they said thirty bob?” Mercy said to him.
David agrees with them.
“Buda, (sir)” David told him. “ule msee alikuwa anaitana alisema 30, saa niaje imekuwa 40.”(The person, who was calling us in said 30, how comes now you are asking for 40?)
The tout is now hostile towards them.
“Gari ni 40.” He told them. “ Mi ndio nimesema, na muharakishe.” ( I said the fare in 40, I am the one calling the shots.”
The three friends were shocked.
Mark who was standing next to the tout grabbed the 100 from him.
“ Shukisha.” (We want to alight, now!)They all got up. “hiyo ni wizi, unataka kutuibia tukiona” ( you want to steal from us in broad daylight.)
David pressed the alight button, the tout knew he was cornered, they were so far off and if he allowed them to alight, they could actually board another Matatu for only twenty shillings.
“Sawa basi leta hiyo so!”(It’s okay bring the a hundred) he tries to take it but Mark put it back in his pocket.
“Zi,(no)” he smiled at Mercy who watched in disbelief. “Leta change ya ashu.” (Give me my ten shillings change first.)
The tout had no choice but to give him the ashu (ten shillings) before he gave the one hundred shillings to the tout. She was definitely impressed, later that day, Mark called her and invited her for lunch, she agreed, and the rest as they said, was history.
Now, she was positive, what if Mark was also positive, they had messed up big time; Mark would be so shocked if he ever found out. She could only picture his face, sadness and anguish.
And there was Anne, who had put so much trust on her, which was now broken. Her family, they would never find out, not if she had something to do with it. Her three years in campus were all for nothing. Now as a forth year, she wanted to pack and leave, to a place where no one would find her. It’s was a temporary lapse of reason, she had completely lost her bearing and now she had to pay the price.
She did not mean to tell Ian, as the first person, as her second year at the university began, she heard that Evans could not graduate that December because he had succumbed HIV related illness, that’s where her nightmare began, she was afraid that he could also have infected her too, for the next couple of months she was in total distress, her bones suffered, mortal agony. Went for the test six months later, after a couple of failed attempts, where she would get to the door and ran away. At some point, she had left the VCT guy alone just as he was about to read her results. That day, she sat through the whole thing, she asked him several times after the test results.
“I’m I positive?”
She asked him over and over again, until it became.
“I am positive,”
She walked out a zombie.
She had told Ian because, they had slept together. He also became withdrawn, and reserved. He did not get tested until a few weeks back, he turned negative, and that night he called Mercy with the good news. The next day the news about her positive status was all over campus. The funny thing is, Anne her best friend had not heard the rumors, Anne was not a gossiper. Months later, that’s when Mercy did decided to break the ice and let Anne know, she was bound to know anyway. She still had not accepted her status.
She had seen from the bathroom window Anne washing her beddings, now she was a kind of outcast. No one would ever look at her the same. Her siblings, they would totally reject her. Her father the preacher, he would chase her from home. At church, they would never accept her; sermons would be made in her name, endless. Her mother would die from the shock. She was better off dead. That night all she wanted was to die, her life lacked meaning. In the morning, she was more convinced death was indeed the better option.
Posted by
Edward Karani
6:48 AM
Positive! HIV positive, she had left Mercy sleeping on her bed, she walked around the hostel wanting to clear her head, Mercy’s boyfriend, Mark, did not know that she was positive neither did her family, She remembered how Mercy had gotten infected. It was in during their second year in campus, they were not friends and she did not know much about Mercy, they way she dressed was a bit controversial but Anne had never been one judge and she never thought as clothes of being a big deal. She had always thought that the heart mattered more, Mercy attended the same church as she did, what if the pastor had heard the rumors, what would he think about her. She seemed like a zombie walking around the Hall 12, from the first floor to the fourth floor and back. She finally sat outside hall 12, not knowing what she would do.
“What if I am infected?” she asked herself, she could feel her heart pounding inside her. “What will I do?”
She was more concerned about herself than Mercy’s situation.
“What if by touching her or by her sleeping in my bed what if she gave me the virus.” She was too preoccupied to see the people passing her and to feel the cold that filled the night air. Anne feared that the food that her friend had given might have been contaminated by the virus she had. Mercy had been positive since she was in 2nd year and now when she was in fourth year that is when she felt like telling Anne her best friend, she felt angry and like she had every right to know, them maybe she would not have befriended Mercy that much. She could feel the dread in her heart. Irene, a classmate was headed in her direction, she was coming from town, but Anne didn’t not even notice her, Irene could see the anguish written all over Anne’s face.
“Gal, are you okay?”
Anne did not answer. Irene walked over and touched her gently startling her.
“ Uko poa ?” Are you okay? She asked again. “Don’t tell me you are otaring (getting tanned) the moon,” she joked at Anne.
Anne tried to smile but she started crying instead, she could not fight the tears, they cascaded down her face freely, her arms folded, she let all her anger and frustration out, how could she and Mercy be friends now that she knew Mercy was positive, she scared that she could get infected.
“How do you get infected without sex?” she had asked herself a thousand times that night, but she not help but get scared.
Irene sat down next to Anne and placed her arm around her.
“Anne, nini mbaya? (What is the matter?”) Irene asked.
This was such a big burden on her part and how did Mercy expect her to keep quiet about it. She had seen Mercy crying as she recited the story of how she became positive and how Ian whom she had entrusted with the story had told his girlfriend who in turn had told some girls in their class who were now spreading the rumors. That is when she came running to Anne.
“Have you heard about Mercy?” she asked. Irene looked away, of course she had heard. It had been their topic of discussion, that previous night, and many other nights before.
“About her status.” Anne went on wiping her tears away.
Irene breathed in. “The whole class…I think the whole of main campus knows.”
Anne nodded, she was unsure of why Mercy would hide such a thing from her and tell Ian, who could best be described as CNN or BBC that needed no tuning.
Mercy was a Christian and in church and a home they knew her to be a very upright girl. Anne knew her also to be an upright girl what after a bad start in university found her footing later on. Why would they claim that she had infected like the whole class if she had not slept with anyone. HIV/Aids suddenly became a reality to her, it had been a thing that the world claimed affected Africa, but she had never really experienced someone who had HIV and if she did then she did not know.
Irene looked at the crying girl; of course, everyone not only in their class but the whole of main campus knew of Mercy being HIV positive. As a matter of fact they had known about it for months.
Anne looked at Irene, she felt bad discussing about Mercy, her best friends condition but she really needed someone to talk to about it, otherwise it would drive her crazy with worry and fear for the rest of her life.
“She is sleeping in my bed,” Anne began. “I can’t sleep with her in the same bed, what if I get infected.”
Irene seemed to be really thinking about it.
“You can’t sleep with her on the same bed because; sweat and other fluids contain the virus” Irene said eventually. “You also need to wash your beddings with hot water.”
They spoke ignorantly, but the dread in Anne’s heart continued to increase. What had she gotten herself into? What in the world had Mercy gotten her into?
Irene got up. “You can come and sleep with me.”
Anne looked her. “Thanks.”
The night watchman seated nearby had been listening to their conversations. He shook his head in disbelief, it was not the first time he was hearing of such.
Irene began to walk away. “Remember to wash your beddings after she is gone.”
She smiled as her class mate walked away. In that cold night Anne had to make decisions.
“Mercy and I cannot be friends.” She said firmly in her heart. “Two do not walk together unless they have something in common.”
And they had nothing in common, to her Mercy was just but a kawaida (normal) campus girl, with no morals at all. Anne had quickly forgotten that she could have easily fallen into temptation a couple of times herself. The funny thing is that they had grown up in the same church, but they never knew each other.
“It is true, bad company ruins good morals.” She thought. “It is because of hanging out with Mercy that I have been feeling like this wanting and desiring, things that I shouldn’t, no wonder my spiritual life has been down.”
She walked back into her room, with Mercy fast asleep in her bed.
“She is not worth it; I cannot be friends with a girl like her, all these time and the things she has been doing.”
She could not help but be disgusted, she sat down on her chair, her head was now aching, she gently leaned towards the table and placed her head on the table.
“What a life,” she thought. “My prayer is that when I open my eyes in the morning I will have graduated and left this horrible university, one that turns saints into sinners.”
She felt like Mercy had destroyed both their lives. She was at crossroads, this was something that affected the youth in her church, and maybe she should tell the youth Pastor, he would definitely know what to do. He could help her. But knowing her church, Mercy would have one of two choices, stand in front of the church and confess, or leave the church once and for all, who would even talk to her anyway. Anne at that point did not care what would happen to Mercy, all she wanted to salvage was her reputation.
Anne also knew that her youth pastor was aware of their friendship; he would insist that Anne and Mercy’s boyfriend also go for the test in his presence. Anne had already gone for the test, but it made her feel bad because, as a campus girl, they had always suspected them, now they had enough evidence to nail the three of them on the cross. What would her mother say? This was turning out to be the worst day of her life.
Maybe if she told the youth Pastor before the rumors got to him, he might be lenient with her. She was angry with Mercy; she gently lifted her aching head and looked at her.
“Hypocrite!” her heart said. “This all your fault.”
She thought of her friend, David, he could help her, they had been friends for the past one year, he always listened to her when she needed someone to, a shoulder to cry on, even in the middle on the night she could call him, he had been away in Mombassa, but that morning just before he boarded the bus to Nairobi, he had called her and she had wished him journey mercies. She used her hands to feel for her phone in the pockets of her jeans but it wasn’t there, she looked for it on her bed but it wasn’t there, she took her keys and was opening the wardrobe, in search for her phone, when she spotted it being charged. She went and took it; there were so many missed calls from Annette and a message. Looking at her watch, it was almost 2am in the morning.
She quickly read the message; it was from Annette, another of David’s friend.
“David passed on today”
The message initially read. She did not get what it meant. She read on, she could feel her heart racing.
“In a tragic road accident,
On his way from Mombassa.”
Her phone dropped immediately. David was dead! Her whole world just went silent. Her hands desperately searched for her seat, she sat down, and covered her ears. The tears were back. Her heart was overwhelmed; she wanted to scream it all out. She started sobbing, waking Mercy up. She turned.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, yes,” she said in between sobs. Even before Mercy could sit up, she got up and rushed out into the bathroom. She opened the curtain and his herself inside, she cried her heart out, and David was dead!
