Muthoni Kariuki Blog

In the Right Direction

Posted by Edward Karani , Monday, April 26, 2010 7:13 AM

“Sixteen thousand!” Theresa thought. “And it’s all for me.”

That sounded like a lot of money to her, she looked at her green colored ATM, and it felt great holding it in her hand. It signified a lot in her life. First, it signified that she was now a woman, a twenty year old campus student, she could now decide what to eat, when to sleep, and most of all what to do with her free time, the time that she got to her room, no more curfew. On her first trip to the ATM machine and she had to ask for help, she did know how to go about it. After she had gotten her money, she hang around the ATM, which she was shielding wither back, even though it now read:

‘Please insert our card.”

She feared that someone might be able to access her money and steal it. It is only after she had murmurs and saw a man approaching her that she walked out. Later that evening, she came to check on her account; the girl in front of her had her card stuck in the machine. Theresa felt so bad, having stood in the line for over five minutes only for it to be spoilt. The girl had not even warned them, she walked in, took her time in the ATM and rushed out scared. It’s only when Theresa tried to insert her ATM that she realized that she could not, she reported it to the people outside and one of the men went in then came back and announced that there was a card stuck inside the ATM machine. Theresa simply looked for another machine she breathed in more easily when she realized that her money was still there.

Now in forth year, she could not imagine herself, becoming like the people who were clueless about ATMs.

“Is it working anxious first years?” would ask her though she rarely answered them.

The first few days in campus Theresa just ate chips and chicken, mostly she ate in town and just came back to sleep in her room, that is not after taking a midnight snack, which consisted mainly of a smokie, a sausage a samosa and a soda. In the morning she would simple walk into town and have some tea, mandazi and a sausage. It felt great. She had quickly realized that the money was meant to last her until March, that was six months away, yet three quarter of the loan had already been wasted on food, not even clothes, her parents were shocked. The same hand outs that she was escaped from, she badly needed to see her through the reminder of that first semester.

“If only I hadn’t told them how much money I was getting for the student’s loan.” In the midst of her excitement of receiving such a huge a mount of money, she had blurted it to her family. More so her father, a typical Kikuyu man, he had already made calculations. She would be able to save up to half her loan that was according to his estimates, which were based on the cost of Ugali and Sukuma wiki or cabbage, and for breakfast tea and one mandazi.

“Kwani I am not supposed to eat meat or chicken?”

Her elder brother who happened to be a drunkard she had already loaned three thousand shillings which she had promised to return within two weeks, two weeks turned months, months had turned into years. He was yet to return the money. It was not like he was living at home anyway, after supporting his drinking habits for a number of years; it had culminated with him being chased away from home by their father. Theirs was a family of four boys and the last born girl, an apple to the father’s eye, his only daughter, named after his mother. Theresa’s mother was particularly happy after she was born, otherwise her father wouldn’t have stopped until he had a girl. The beloved daughter did not disappoint, where the boys failed to excel, she did, in her studies and socially. They all knew she was meant to do great things, and the fact that she had been the first person in her entire extended family to make it to a public university, hammered the point home.

Thought of her first day in University, it brought a feeling of nostalgia in her mind. She smiled at the life she had lived. It was her last chance to be a child, to act up, now as a fourth year prospects of getting a job, paying bills, getting married, all scared her a lot.

Living around Nairobi, you would have thought they would arrived early, by the time they got there, it seemed like half of the thousands students that are admitted to the University of Nairobi had already arrived. She looked at the ‘great institution, she knew it, she felt it.

‘This is it!”

“I am going to study hard and get a job.”

Other students might have noticed her smile, if they had not been too busy getting themselves registered as students. She felt great, she was awed. In primary school she told her friends that she wanted to attend the University of Nairobi. She did not mind doing anything to get there, she would do course. Her dream was the university, not the course but studying in Main Campus, her degree would just serve as evidence that she had been there.

“A whole new world!” her heart melted at the prospect of that thought.

This was the rest of her life, in just four years, she felt like she had an opportunity to shape her life, open up her mind in a way that no other event in her life could be able to open up her mind the way the university would open up her mind.

Theresa knew that the University would change her life for the positive she never thought that it could her life for the negative.

“I can’t accept your proposal.” She had naively said to Timothy, or Timoty as he had introduced himself in a distinctively Kisii accent.

“What is your name?” he had asked while she worked at a Simu ya Jamii.

“Muthoni.”She replied quickly. She had wished him gone as soon as he made a call.

Flash was the better word, after all she had heard the call go through, but she assumed that he was only making a conversation so that he could see whether the person he had flashed would call.

“Mutoni!” he repeated her name confidently.

Theresa was offended. “Muthoni!” she corrected him.

“Ooooh Mutoni.” He smiled thinking that he had gotten it right.

“Yes.” She forced a smile.

He did walk away, only after he had proposed to her and she had answered him. “I am going to university. I am going to meet many more men.” She did not want to restrict herself to ordinary men. She could picture herself meeting the man of her dreams in campus, a medic, may be an engineering student, they would date from their first year in campus, graduate together and then they would get married and live happily ever after.

“Five years!” she exclaimed on finding out the number of years it took for the medical and engineering students to finish campus.

“I can’t wait that long!”She thought. “I want to get married at twenty four.”

That was the age she was going to finish campus, get a job and get married.

“The graduation will be in December.” Her heart sank.

“Six months!” she felt annoyed. “Why can’t they give me my degree? Why do I have to wait for so long?”

Word was their graduation would be moved to February that scared her a lot. Why the long wait, yet in government jobs she could not apply without her degree. At times being in a public university could be very frustrating, mostly in seemed like they were out to frustrate her. If the aim of the administration was to frustrate her as frequently and often as they could during the course of the four years, they had managed to do that with perfection, at times wishing that she had attended a private university, or just flown out of the country. Unfortunately her parents couldn’t afford it.

Now with only a few days remaining, to finish school and to her twenty fourth birthday, she realized that the odds were the man of her dreams was not at the university of Nairobi and she might be able to get married at twenty four as she had always wanted.

Her illusion about campus boys quickly faded, it did not go past the registration line. For a while she had managed to deceive herself that campus boys were it, they tall, light skinned and handsome, she envisioned that they looked like a point five, a half cast between a white man and an black woman, who spoke nice English, with a nice accent, and dressed like the English premiership footballers when they off the pitch. Trendy would have been a nice word. Guys who had nice pick up lines, guys from Nairobi, but apparently the majority apparently were upcountry, the vast majority. The only time they learned to dress themselves was after campus, she did not want to wait for that long, and neither did she want a man who she would have to train like a dog to do new tricks. Seeing these guys all freshmen clad in all manner of colors made her skin to cringe, it was painful to look at them. One that she will never forget, was dressed in a light green trouser and bright blue shirt, she had no idea that they made clothes in those colors. Weren’t such colors for making paper bags or paint?

“Thank God I don’t know him.” She managed a smile.

A week later the smile was gone, they were in the same class with him. He walked into class in the same costume. Theresa felt a cold breeze blow as he passed her.

“I don’t know him: I have never seen him before.” She practiced.

Three years later it was when the outfit disappeared.

“What if it was stolen?” she joked with her friends.

“Joseph’s coat of many colors is missing.” They all laughed. “After all it was the first and last.”

Funny enough, that boy became a very good friend of Theresa. Indispensible!

Was Theresa green and fresh like most of the freshmen, she came with a decided mind of what she wanted to do. That does it mean, unlike all first years she did not get lost or try to find her way in a whole new world. Whenever Theresa was told about the immorality that filled the higher institutions, more so the street that was believed to be the prostitution streets for female students, it would scare her a lot, but she had decided NEVER to have sex in campus.

The letter of admission, that first day in campus, and mostly the love of her God, would see her through. This time unlike her first day in High school, she would not be ashamed of Christ, of the one thing that had been constant in her life. Her God!

Campus proved to an adventure, one that completely transformed her life forever, that taught her love and hate at the same time.

“I have run the race, I have fought the good fight, and now all awaits me…” those are the words that she wanted to say, the day she walked out campus, with a degree on one hand and her possessions on the other. A satisfied feeling in her heart, knowing, she had ran the race successfully because it wasn’t about winning. Did she?