REJECTION IS THE GREATEST GIFT WE WILL EVER RECEIVE
Posted by Social Matters , Tuesday, November 17, 2015 6:37 AM
A couple of years ago, I had the worst Christmas ever, no one noticed because I am really good at hiding my feelings at times but it was terrible. My heart was breaking inside, I had been rejected by my perfect guy, he was everything that I have ever wanted in a man, he was tall, he was kind, he was cute, he was a university graduate and he was working, and most importantly he was a Christian. On our first meeting he noticed me, you know when a guy looks at you with those eyes that says he is interested and he asked me out and I will not lie when he sent me an sms later that evening and when he called I was burning up, my heart was on fire, I was in love. Well, things did not work out the way I anticipated and when it really hit me that he was not interested in me it was a couple of days before Christmas and I was really hurt, my heart was shattered. We have all been there were someone you are interested in rejects you.
This is what I have learnt about rejection: -
• A rejection is always better than a false promise; with that guy, who ruined my Christmas, just imagine if he had lied to me and put on a show to prove that I was the one, while in reality he was not interested in me at all. Hey, I should be glad that it did not take me years of being hopelessly in love to realise that this man had done to me single nicest do someone can ever do to you, walk away at the very beginning when they realise they were not interested. He did not string me along, he made no false promises and he needs to be commended. You see it’s allowed to be sad and depressed for a bit, but you can never hold grudges against someone who is totally honest with you and you must move on, otherwise you are the one with the problem.
• Rejection is a good thing, when a guy who I thought was serious and had spent months calling me all sorts of lovey dovey names went silent after I pointed out that despite all the I love yous and I want us to get married, he did not know what my second name was and he had never asked and I did not know anything about him and I kinda asked or stated the obvious, maybe it was the wrong way of asking but he went silent and I would send like 500 words for every 3 words that he sent. The worst part was when I said I just wanted to know him deeper and he said ‘thanks’ I felt devastated but I realised I had been so afraid of being rejected that I was scared of asking him all these things I needed to know because I thought he would leave, and I was right but then I realised that was a good thing. The rejection was worth it. Imagine being in a serious relationship with someone who knows nothing about you and you do not know anything about them either. Attraction is part of it yes, but if one of the parties is not interested in something serious, you have no option but to walk away or let them walk away. I really did like this guy and I am sure if he was in the country and proposed at that point, I would have said yes because I was so attracted to him. Then I started thinking about it and I thought, if I am to base my relationship on feelings then I when I settled into marriage life, and I really got to know this guy, chances are my feelings would decrease and resentment towards him would grow. His silence was golden.
I needed to know how serious this guy was
• It has nothing to do with me most of the times, when we are rejected we wonder what is wrong with us and it eats on our self esteem. It should not; at times the heart wants what the hearts want. I have had my fair share of rejections and I have rejected some men as well and most of the times I simply was not interested, then how can I be angry when someone is simply not interested in me.
• They will be happy without you stop waiting for them to realise what they are missing; most of the times we wait for the people of rejected us to realise what a mistake they made in leaving us and to see them regretting not loving you. Well, this never happens. They will probably get married and they will most likely be happy without you, that is why the decision to move on is for you and only you. At times I look back at the people I rejected and I am happiest without them, I am sure they feel the same way too.
In all honesty rejection is the single nicest thing someone an ever do to you, that way you do not have to spend your entire lifetime with a partner who will never love you and return your feelings. When you force that person by sticking with them no matter how many times they show you they are not interested, you are setting yourself for a miserable life, twenty years wasted on a man or woman who never loved you, while getting over them could have actually taken a couple of months.
