Against all odds
Posted by Social Matters , Tuesday, January 11, 2011 3:44 AM
Against all Odds
Mary ran towards the door excitedly, and opened it revealing a group of guests that were waiting for her to open the door.
“Come on in,” she ushered them in. “How have you all been?” They all hugged her and proceeded into the well-furnished house. Mary twenty six years of age had been born into a well to do family, her parents had brought her up well, they had instilled good Christian values in her, she attended the best schools and of course landed a well paying job. She was a Christian and valued her faith very much. Her friends looked around at the beautiful apartment they all felt jealous in a way. Mary’s attention turned to Alex, the man she happened to have a huge crush on and they exchanged smiles. She had always hoped that one day the smile would turn into something more.
“Is this a new coffee table?”
Mary’s gaze shifted from Alex and turned to Ciru, one of her best friends, whose hands were running over the smooth table.
“Came in yesterday,” she said proudly. “Looks great doesn’t it,”
Ciru turned to look at her.
“Of course,” was the response. “How much is it worth anyway”
Mary’s focused turned to Alex who was heading her way. Something about him made her weak. She felt attracted to him in every sense of the world. She breathed in nervously her gaze shifted back to Ciru who was still waiting for her response.
“Trust me,” she said jokingly. “A lot,”
Alex stood besides her and smiled. She was the tale of the brainy beautiful woman that every man wanted to bed. She was a successful educated young woman that every man would have liked to have by his side. All her friends were envious of her success and she was proud of her achievements. He could see the pride in her eyes, and from the way she looked at him, she knew it was only a matter of time before she gave in to her desires.
“Let the party begin,” Mary shouted as she pressed the button of her remote control to play the music. Soon every one was dancing, drinks were being passed around, everyone was happy.
“Congratulations, Madam,” Alex teased, only for her to laugh nervously.
“So, how does it feel to actually be called madam boss by the women and men in your office.”
“Well,” she started. “I am getting accustomed to it, but I am sure I will get used to it.”
He smiled and she blushed, that was the effect he had on women.
“We are all proud of you,” he told her.
“Thank you,” she said looking at Ciru who was dancing the night away with her boyfriend. Mary felt proud to have promoted to managing director. As she is being served her drinks she sighs contented, being successful definitely had it up side. All the people in the house had come because of her, because she had done something great with her life. She was proud of herself and as she looked admiringly at Alex she knew he would not be here if she was just any woman.
“Why don’t I show you around,” She offered.
“Lead the way,” he placed his half empty glass on the table nearby and followed her.
A few minutes later they are sitted on her bed talking. Mary and Alex both seemed happy.
“How’s work,” she asked.
“Great,” he said as picked up a magazine that lay on the bed. “But am on leave.”
She turned to look away Alex seized the opportunity and he placed his hand on her thigh, all over sudden she felt weak, everyone knew her as a strong woman but Alex always made her weak, he made her heart to melt away.
“You know, I have always had this deep feelings for you,” He got straight to the point. Mary did not know what to say. She tried to smile and tried to not be nervous she liked him too but she did not want to tell him that she felt the same way too.
“Why don’t we give ourselves a chance and see where all this leads,” he said as he moved closer to kiss her.
A few days later Mary was still in disbelief that she had unprotected sex with a man she hardly knew. As she stared at the computer blankly she tried to convince herself that it was okay, that she could not have contracted any disease from Alex after all, he seemed like a really good man. She had taken some morning after pills just to make sure she would not get pregnant.
She felt bad that she had forgotten her abstinence stand; she had decided not to go to church on Sunday. She could not face her parents and God after what she had done.
One year later Mary went for a routine check up, her doctor called her a few days later so that they could discuss the results. She was not worried until she entered the office and saw the expression on his face.
“Oh my God,” her heart almost missed her beat. “What if I have cancer,” she sat down not knowing what to expect. So many thoughts crossed her mind making her to be scared. She pulled out a chair and sat down. She looked at the doctor impatiently waiting for him to break the news to her. She could see he was struggling to find a way to break the news to her. She studied Doctor Maluto’s young face, he looked worn out and in shock Mary could not help but wonder what could have him so worried.
“I have the results of your annual medical check up,” he began as picked up her file from the corner of the table.
“What could be the problem?” her voice sounded shaky. “Am I going to die” do I have cancer.”
The room was filled with graveyard silence, for Mary the silence was deafening.
“Doctor Maluto,” she sounded desperate, “please do not keep me waiting.”
He breathed in, Mary had always been his model patient, how she had contacted HIV seemed like a puzzle that he never thought he was going to solve.
“Doctor!” her panic stricken voice brought him back to reality.
“Mary,” he looked at her. “ You need to calm down, everything is going to be alright.” He tried to reassure her.
She breathed in and waited for what he had to say in baited breath.
“When is the last time you had sex?”
The question caught her by surprise.
“Almost an year ago,” she shifted in her seat still surprised by the question. “Why”
Doctor Maluto went through her file. “I am sorry break this to you but…”
Mary cut him short. “I cannot be pregnant,” she dropped her handbag. “Doctor the last time I slept with a man was almost an year ago.”
Doctor Maluto understood that she was confused but he had to tell her.
“Mary,” he began, “ I am really sorry to tell you but you are HIV positive.”
Mary heart sunk. There was audible silence for the next few seconds as she tried to come to terms with that condition.
“I have Aids!” she had a zombie like look as she stood up and headed towards the window. “I have Aids! Doctor, how! Where and why.”
Doctor Maluto stood up and followed to the window. He placed his hand on her shoulder gently.
“You don’t have Aids,” He tried to tell, “HIV is the virus that causes Aids but it can be managed if you take good care of your self eat right exercise then you can lead healthy and normal productive life just like the rest of the people.”
“I have Aids,” his words fell on deaf ears. “ I am going to die.”
Doctor Maluto tried to reassure by telling her all there was to know about HIV/Aids its management, also about ARVS but she was not listening. She was in so much shock; Mary just turned and headed for the door. The doctor called after her but it was like if she was in a trance.
The days that followed were filled with tears and regrets; she refused to see any guests. She did not go to work. She cried over what her life was supposed to be, she felt like it was the end of the road for her. She felt like she had betrayed her parents, her friends, herself and God. At some point she went to her medicine cabinet, took out all the drugs that were there and took some water. There were over two hundreds pills that she wanted to swallow and die. But a knock at the door stopped her; she contemplated whether or not to open the door. Eventually she dragged weary and opened it. It was doctor Maluto. She ushered him in, Doctor Maluto was shocked to see that Mary had the same clothes she had worn earlier on the week when he had broken the news to her. He was determined to bring hope into her life.
“Can I offer you anything?” She asked not really sure if she had anything that was edible in her fridge.
“Maybe later,” he said.
He took out several cds, magazines and articles and placed them on the table.
“How are feeling?” he asked.
She shrugged. “ I don’t know, the best way to describe it is that, my feelings are as bad as my condition is.”
Her tone registered hopelessness.
“Mary,” he said, “I know it is not going to be easy, but you can beat it.”
He took one of the articles on the coffee table and for a moment it looked like he was reading it.
“I know that you are feeling really bad and hopeless and you are yet to accept your status, but Mary I have seen a lot of people in Kenya that have been diagnosed with HIV and they have still made it in life.” He tried to reassure her.
She took a pillow and held it tightly.
“But why me,” she broke into tears. “ Doctor I only did it once. Isn’t HIV supposed those who are promiscuous? I am not! I am decent girl; I have worked so hard in life. I only slept with him once why did I get it. I don’t understand.”
Doctor Maluto moved closer to her, he understood her predicament; he knew what she was going through.
“Mary, that’s the misconception that people have,” he enlightened her, “people do not contract HIV by sleeping with many partners, just having sex with one person is enough.”
“Only once ha,” she remarked. She placed the pillow down stood up and headed for the door.
“I thought I had everything, I had a good job, a loving family and great friends,” she said as she looked out the window.
“I thought I knew who I was, I was someone great,” tears continued to flow freely down her face. “ Now I know I am not.”
Doctor Maluto followed her to the window and took hold of her hand. “Anyone can get HIV.”
Mary looked into his eyes as if searching for answers. “How many people with HIV do you know that have made it I life. HIV is a cursed disease.”
He smiled. “My brother was diagnosed with HIV a few years ago, we all thought it was the end of the world.” He pulled her closer. “Five years down the line he is still as strong as ever and he is the CEO of Pata refineries. She seemed not to believe him at first.
“How did he do it?” she asked.
“He first accepted his condition, then he decided he was going to fight the stigma head on. He started taking ARVs and he went on to pursue his dreams.”
She moved closer to him. “My greatest fear is that my parents and friends will reject me.”
She confessed. “What do I do then?”
He smiled at her; Mary remembered when Alex had smiled at her. It had been out of lust but when Doctor Maluto smiled it was because he cared.
“I wont lie to you,” he told her. “Rejection will be there, but eventually they will accept you as long as you accept yourself. But it won’t be easy.”
“Thank you,” she said he wiped of her tears.
He had shown a ray of hope, he told her about counseling, ARV treatment, stigma and how to eat right. When he was about leave Mary could afford to smile.
“Mission Accomplished,” he joked.
“What!” she seemed shocked.
“I made you smile.”
That made her smile even more.
Over the next few days she spent them thinking about what he had said. She was amazed to read the story about a woman who had living with HIV for nineteen years. She went over the materials he had brought her and at the end of she felt as though she could do it. She could accomplish her dreams and she could live her life fully.
She broke the news to her family, they rejected her. Her father disowned her. Her mother felt like killing her. In her work place she was stigmatized, no one wanted to touch the same cup as Mary, but because of friends such as Doctor Maluto she remained strong. Mary found it funny that all her friends including Ciru that had pretended to care were nowhere to be seen.
On one particular Sunday she went to church in the company of Doctor Maluto. Most of the people avoided sitting near her, but it did not bother her.
“Don’t mind them,” he tried to make her feel better.
“Don’t worry,” she smiled. “He already forgave me and loves me just as I am.”
She said pointing upwards. Doctor Maluto stared in amazement. She had changed in such a short time. Mary learned to take her life in strides, one at a time.
“You know,” she said in a matter fact kind of way. “ I know that God wants me to educate the church about HIV. This is the place where everyone should run to and feel safe. As a Christian I am taking my stand against stigmatization of people already with the virus.”
“Count me in.” the doctor said, as he shoved her gently.
Mary spent a lot of her time learning about HIV and Stigma, just as she had worked hard in order to become managing director she was going to fight of the stigma and she was going to get her family back.
“The first time I seriously ever thought about HIV and Aids was when I was diagnosed with the virus.” Mary spoke at a seminar she had organized in her work place concerning HIV and Stigma in the workplace. “ I was ignorant about HIV because I knew I could not get it. I always thought that HIV was for only commercial sex workers and immoral people. I was a good church girl I knew it could not affect me. But what I have come to learn is that the line between staying HIV negative and becoming positive is really thin. HIV knows no professor or drunkard, every one is vulnerable we can all get HIV. All it took for me was just to sleep with a man once and I got it. I have learned a lot since then. Even though Alex has since passed on, I have forgiven him and I hope that he forgave himself too. Today all I want to do is encourage all of you to know your HIV status. If you are negative work on remaining negative if you are positive work on living positively.”
She looked around and saw Doctor Maluto listening to her keenly and a smile lit across her face.
“You know, at the end of the day we are all affected or infected by HIV/Aids. What I have learned from this experience is that I still have my life live and that I am allowed to keen on dreaming. I have decided I am not going to give up on my life. I was born to try and to believe in life no matter the circumstances. So you had better get to seeing my face for a long time to come.’
The room was filled with laughter.
“People with HIV/Aids face a lot of stigma in the world place they are shunned, gossiped about and treated as though they are not human beings,” she went on. “All this is because of the misconception that HIV can be contracted through touching or hugging or sharing food. It does not happen that way. All these are just but misconceptions. My hope is that if you know someone who is HIV positive you need to treat them with love and respect because at the end of the day if were are reduce the rate of HIV transmissions in the country then we the infected and affected must work together. Thank you.”
As she took her seat she hoped that she had gotten the message across. As the sat down the song by Delta Goodrem played in the background.
Born to Try by Delta Goodrem
Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture
And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
All that you see is me
All I truly believe
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe
That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like
But I was born to try
Against all odds she was going to succeed, she was going to live her life fully. After all Delta Goodrem was right. “I was born to try.” That was exactly what she was going to do try and always believe in life. Her colleagues watched as she made her way to her seat. They gave her a standing ovation as she approached Doctor Malutu he stretched out his hands and pulled closely for a hug. Finally Mary had learnt the ultimate lesson of all, and that was to love, to love herself, to love her family even when they rejected, to love her friends that cared for her and to love a society that had branded her ‘not worthy.’
