A Ray of Hope
Posted by Edward Karani , Monday, April 26, 2010 6:39 AM
“Exams are over.” A feeling of jubilation filled Anne’s heart. Finally she could escape from campus for a whole two weeks (though she did not have much of a choice anyway, they were being chased away). She was just tired and exhausted, and to think that KCSE was it, how her high school teachers had lied to her by making believe that if she passed her KCSE, all the rest would be bliss, Kumbe! It was just a tip of the iceberg. The relationship between Julie, her roommate was a bit cold, for a continuous two weeks, she had lied to her that the reason Jason had come over was because her extension to the power supply was unplugged and Jason wanted to find out why, that was a half truth the she had unplugged Julie’s extension, since she was not using it, but Jason had his own agenda, coming into her room after his girlfriend had left. All the while Jason just watched Julie confront Anne for something he had done. On his face he maintained an aura of innocence. Anne thought of changing rooms, come the next academic semester. The exams were very fair, considering the fact that she had been very unprepared for them.
“Are you going to Nakuru?” Jeff, her classmate asked as they crossed the road, they had not bothered to look if they were any oncoming vehicles.
“Naivasha.” She corrected him.
“Sawa, naona ulipata A geography (Okay, I see you had an A in geography).” He mocked her.
“Undhani nilifika aje campo? (How do you think I got into campus) “ She boasted “You know in my school, it’s among the few where there are no leakages.”
He smiled. “Eeh.”
“ Imagine.” She added some weight to what she had just said.
“I thought your school was like a thousand kilometers from Nairobi.” He said in a matter of fact way. “Leakage ingefikaje? (How was the leakage supposed to get there?)
“ Even if it did, ilikuwa inawapata mumemaliza exams.” (And if it could, you would have already finished your exams.) He finished off.
She wanted to go on but she had run out words and things to mock him on.
“ No I am not going.” She reverted what they were initially talking about.
“Why.” He seems shocked.
“HELB imeisha, (my students loan is finished)” she started telling his problems. “ Plus I have three other trips plus a mission to attend.”
The church trip to Mombasa that Kenyatta day weekend would cost her 4999 church trip, a class trip that would cost her 3000, her campus Bible study trip that would cost her, 2000 (the location was unknown), a mission from her CU fellowship (SPICE) that required 4000 shillings to Marsabit, that December, yet her HELB loan was only 13000 shillings, that should have seen through from October to March. If she were to attend all these trips, she would end up broke by December. Maybe she could afford to go for the 2000 one, as for the rest, she would have to pass. As always.
“Every one is coming.” He went one. “ You will be all alone in campo.”
She was not listening, a driver passing by had smiled at her and she smiled back at him. Luckily Jeff had not noticed if he had he was deliberately keeping quiet about it.
“Anna,” he corrupted her name.
“You guys have fun,” she smiled uneasily at him. As she walked quietly, as Jeff turned to talk to the rest of her classmates, her mind so far away, as she thought of the girl she was becoming. She had come being appalled by men to wanting them to admire her in every way. She could feel that she drifting away, from the principled young woman her parents had brought her up to be, to a desperate mess that now characterized her life in campus. With no money to spend, no job, even during the long vacation, her father had warned not to waste her money, because she wouldn’t be getting any more from him, and true to his word, throughout her three years in campus, he had not given her a single cent, towards the end of the semester, she had to make a lot of sacrifices, she couldn’t even afford simple pleasures like going for a weekend to Naivasha with her classmates to enjoy their time in campus, no memories to tell her children about her adventures in campus. The only thing she was doing was surviving. So far off was she that she did not notice Jason, walking towards her.
‘Hey,” Jason said as he held her hand. “ Are you okay?”
She looked up at him and smiled, she had not seen him walking towards her.
“ I am fine,”
She looked at Jeff as he walked away, he had not even said goodbye, and maybe her cold attitude had made him assume that she was ignoring him.
“ You seem, a bit far, what are you thinking about?”
“ No,” she said.
“ I’m okay.” She tried to smile. Unknowingly to them, Fiona, Julie’s roommate had seen them.
“ I am going to town, si you join me.”
Anne thought of every reason, why she should not go. She was a Christian, though presently, Her God seemed very far away.
“Why not,” she tried to convince herself. “Let me go and end all this,” She smiled knowing that she had managed to lie to herself, they started walking together towards town, when he held her hand, she did not resist, she liked the way it made her feel.
“Are you enjoying your ice-cream?” Jason asked. They were seated at Ice cream Inn. She smiled.
“You bet!” she had one more spoonful, it felt very cold but at the same time she enjoyed it.
“You are not a typical campus guy.” She started.
“Why?” he seemed a bit shocked.
“This is way out of the league of campus guys” she looked around. “ They prefer mess za campo, where the most expensive item in the menu is 50 bob.” (They prefer campus eating joints ad cafeteria where the food is cheap.)
Jason chuckled.
“Cheap.” She went on.
Jason smiled, he had her where he wanted, he knew she was impressed, like all campus girl, she wanted to be entertained, to be treated like a queen, and to be spoiled rotten. A few more dates would do the trick, he thought. Julie had told him that Anne was the ‘nimechill’ kind, and that to him was an adventure in itself.
“Well,” he began to answer her. “ It’s they can afford, they are all students after all.”
She smiled and went back to her ice cream. She looked up after a while to see Jason staring at her. She smiled, but felt very uneasy.
“ How many children do you have?” she asked him suddenly. “ Are you really 30?”
He was taken a back, this time he did not seemed all too happy about her lines of questions.
“Pole,” she said. “It’s just that Julie… I have heard… when you were talking…”
It was too late she had already implicated her roommate.
“ What else has she told you?” he asked her. “ I have not slept with her you know.”
He was telling her the truth, Julie had already told her that.
“I don’t even love Julie.” He started. “ She is the one who is running after me.”
She tried to maintain a ‘I believe you look.’ And hoped that it was the look that her face portrayed rather that the disappointment she felt in her heart. He knew Jason, and he was heed over heels in love with Julie, he only wanted ‘a mpango wa kando.’ (Side dish) That’s why he was so attracted to her. The only problem was, and Jason did not know is that, Julie might not feel the same, she claimed she was confused. Anne wanted to ask Jason what he saw in Julie, she was not only from upcountry, but she seemed to be a very confused girl to Anne. Always talking about her ex boyfriend and how she loved him. Then there were the weird things she used to do, like wake Anne up in the middle of the night to ask for salt or sugar at 3 am in the morning. If not asking for sugar, then just to say good night. She knew he loved her, she heard him once announce over the phone to his brother that this was the girl he would marry. Anne could not help but wonder what Jason was up to. She had started to believe that there was something between them. There was no guy who had expressed interest in her.
Jason took her hand, this time she pulled away.
“Would you still, like to know how many kids I have.” He tried to make her smile. She tried to smile.
“No, but am sure Julie would.” She pretended to smile. She could help but feel jealous on account for Julie, even though a promiscuous guy, he loved her, and he wanted to marry her, as for her, she knew of one who wanted to marry her, or maybe they were there, it’s just that they had not expressed interest in her.
“ Any way,” he went on. “ Julie and I are just friends.”
“Simfeel, (I have no feelings for her) ” he added.
She did not know what to say. She wanted to scream at him. “Liar.” But in actual sense he had made her feel hopeless. Her phone rang. She picked up on the table and answered it.
“ Hello.” She said.
“ Hello, is this Anne.”
Unsure of what was going on, or who she was talking to. “ Yes it is.”
“ This is Mr. Maundu, from the Truth group.” The Truth was the best selling newspaper in Kenya. “We got your proposal.”
A smile lit up across her face. Jason was just finishing up on his ice cream. His phone rang too and he looked at the caller Id it was Julie. He cut it off.
“Tomorrow.” Anne went on talking. “At what time?”
“At 11am.” Mr. Maundu told her. “Do you know where our offices are?”
“Yes.”
.
Finally she felt a ray of hope.
Julie tried to call Jason again, he cut her off again, “ Anne ni mimi Julie anachezea.( Anne is trying to play with me).” She could not believe as she sat down. “ Ya Mungu ni mengi (The plans that God has are many.).” She went on talking to herself. There was a knock and she went to answer her door, it was Jason. He came in and she hugged him, even before they could go back to her side of the room, Anne tired to open the door, hitting them both.
“ Sorry,” she said as she came in.
“ Sema Anne. (Hello Anne)” Jason flashed a big friendship smile across his face. “ Yani you still hadn’t fikaad and the way nilikuacha St. Paul’s kitambo. (I thought you’d be in your room, it’s been a over an hour since we last saw each other at St. Paul’s.” Anne smiled at Jason’s craftiness; Julie who was frowning at her seemed convinced.
“ Zi, nimepitia Hall 2, (I passed by Hall 2) I wanted to photocopy some items.” She showed Julie the articles she had printed out. “ I am going to the Truth offices kesho (tomorrow) for an interview.” Jason who is now seated down is even more surprised than Julie. Anne was the enterprising sort.
“ Congrats.” Julie smiled, somewhat convinced that they were not seeing each other. Anne walked to her side of the room and sat on her bed.
“ Umemaliza exams zako. (Are you done with your exams)” Julie called out to her.
“ Eeeh, nilimaliza leo morning (Yes, today in the morning).” Anne said looking at her articles.
“ Anne.” Julie calls her gain. “ Unajua Fiona. (Do you know Fiona)”
Anne rolled her eyes.
“Hapana (no).” Anne replies. “ Amefanya. (What has she done)”
“ Fiona ni rafiki yangu ambaye anafanya, Nursing. (Fiona, my friend who is a nursing student) ” She told her.
Jason is scrolling through his phone, he goes to his phone book and deletes Anne’s number as well as messages. He then listens to the ongoing conversation.
“Ati tulikuwa na Jason wapi. (Where did she us again?)” Anne asked again.
“ St Paul,”
Jason begins to feel the weight on him. He hopes Anne does not spill on him.
“Tulipatana. (We just met)” Anne is annoyed. “ Hatukuwa pamoja, kwani what is wrong with saying hi to someone on the road.”
“Na sasa, mbona anindanganye. (Why would she lie)” Julie asked.
“I don’t know but ukimwona, mwambie aache wana, (if you see her tell her to stop acting foolishly).” she was genuinely annoyed. Fiona had not seen them holding hands or eating ice cream, she had only seen then talking.
Julie was convinced.
“ Why would she tell you that?” Jason asked, also a bit shocked.
“Sweetie…” Julie said. “ Mimi sijui.”
“Yani. (You mean to tell me). ” Anne was so worked up. “Nowadays saying hi to someone is a sin.”
“That girl has her own issues, asikaniletee.” She stood and went to the next room. She cast a glance at Jason who was seated on the bed looking all-angelic, as usual. He did not seem so attractive to her anymore.
“ I don’t even have Jason’s number.” She gave Julie her phone to scroll.
Julie took her phone and started going through it. Jason tried to cast a smile at Anne but she ignored. All the while Anne felt relieve d that Julie had believed her, the weight of the lie she had told did not even make her feel guilty, it made her angry. Jason had bought her ice cream worth 200 hundred shillings, while in actual sense the much he had ever bought Julie was oranges along agony hill worth 30 shillings. She was drifting away.
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