MATATU ETIQUETTE
Posted by Social Matters , Tuesday, June 4, 2013 11:44 PM
Matatu Etiquette…
Most passengers miss the basics of
proper matatu etiquette, making our matatu rides to be annoying and quite
uncomfortable, while in the actual sense the touts and drivers are already
tasked with making our journey miserable, why should a fellow passenger add to
the misery. So I have taken upon myself to lay out some simple rules for a
comfortable journey: -
Golden Matatu
Etiquette:
Thou shalt NEVER squeal on thy
fellow passengers
If the tout forgets to charge them, DON’T rant on them. Unless they are
conmen, it’s their lucky day.
·
Matatu
etiquette 1: Thou shall always use thy
ear phones
When the driver decides to put on
annoying loud music, that’s ok, there’s nothing I can do about it… but when
your shady ‘neighbor’ decides do it…am in hell…not only is the phone a poor
Chinese quality but the signal is poor or the sound quality TORTURE to our ears, so dear fellow
customer, always apply the rule ‘thou shall always use thy earphones.’ because
your taste in music and phones is poor and we will hate you forever. Even
though we can hardly remember your face, you’ll always be that annoying person.
·
Matatu
etiquette 2: Thou shall not allow your
non-paying child to sit until the conductor asks if thou art paying yet there
are five paying adults standing
This is where parents
play their annoying ‘I have a child’ card in public transport, it’s annoying,
it gets on my nerves and years later your child grows to become a conceited,
selfish, snobbish grown up…I hope they do.
·
Matatu
etiquette 3: Thou shall not squeeze thy
non paying child on my duly seat.
‘Hebu songea mtoto kidogo…’ such annoying
statements. Alongside etiquette no 2, why can’t these people pay for their
child’s seat instead of bothering me and robbing fellow passengers part of
their fare.
·
Matatu
etiquette 4: thou shalt always keep thou
toddler away from me
This includes
the dirty little shoes all over your skirt/trouser while the parent pretends it’s
ok since they are children, also includes those little ‘brats’ pulling at my
ear rings, hair and me having to play with them because their mother insists on
me joining their conversation. ‘Unaona auntie…mwambie sasa…sasa auntie…sasa
auntie…salimia auntie.’ At times all I want is a quiet ride home after
a long day Nation Building. These women are all too happy when you play with
their children, but try playing with their husbands/boyfriends and hell will
freeze over cold if they don’t attack you.
This also includes the women who enter a full
matatu holding a child, and the conductor asks that you give up your sit for
the mother. ‘With all the matatus on the road…’ Halafu I become the extra
passenger, who can be arrested. This goes for those old people as well. Siku za
‘kila
mwana mwema huwa na heshima…’ are long gone.
·
Matatu
Etiquette 4: The person seated near the
window decides…
It’s quite annoying that someone
stretches out his/her hand to open or close the window yet you are seated next
to it. Please fellow passenger, you might want to ask how the other persons
feel, otherwise etiquette demands they slam the window shut on your manner less
hand.
·
Matatu
Etiquette 5: Thou shalt no use thy
fellow passenger as a pillow
If you are going to fall asleep, that’s
okay, but please not on my shoulder, also when the matatu goings round a corner
thou shall use me as an wind breaker.
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