WHEN HIS WIFE CALLS
Posted by Social Matters , Tuesday, September 16, 2014 11:53 AM
No one gives you the heads up when the ‘other woman’ in his life aka his wife
calls you. Earlier this year I thought I had met that guy that you don’t mind
settling down with. Everything was amazing, I was on cloud nine, I was walking
on sunshine, I was in love and we all know in life that one thousand men will
come but one will always stand out. I was over the moon until his wife called
me one Saturday morning and boy didn’t the floodgates of my eyes open, it felt
like one of those Nairobi days when it starts out bright and beautiful but the
downpour that pounds a couple of hours later leaves you cold and wet. So did I
know he was married? Of course not, as a matter of fact I never saw it coming,
it hit me like a brick on my face, or like something cold was thrown on my
face, it bolted me to reality faster than I could say ‘what!’ Never in my life
did I think that people could be so cold, manipulative and cunning.
It all started in December, it was not
even love at first sight, but when we went out on that first date, I was
smitten. My first date check list is simple, if I order a drink and the guy insists
that I order something to eat as well, for me that guy is a keeper. He got everything right on date number one,
the restaurant, the ambience, the words, and the super cute smile, he was nice,
he was considerate, he made me feel at ease. It was a wonderful date number
one, then there was date number two, he had everything planned out, he got it
right as well, a nice romantic lunch and then a walk, and he was really
considerate, I was smitten, but then I stumbled across a photo of a really
young child in his wallet as he was showing me something. He had a baby, how
old? ‘She was born when he was in high school, my calculations showed that the
child was like ten years or older. That should have been the first red light;
the girl in the photo looked younger than five, but it wasn’t I know one two
many people who got babies in High School.
He would call like two times in day, we
would text a lot, on date number two he told me where he stayed and asked if I
wanted to go and meet his mother, I knew his friends and I also talked to his
cousin and we would walk holding hands near where he stayed, so when his wife
called I was shocked. Even before she called I was beginning to have my doubts
not about him being married but about the child, because later on he lowered
her age to seven and I asked him about that and he had the perfect excuse.
Anyway his wife called me that Saturday morning, my heart was racing as she
said those words ‘Nani is my husband and we have a three year old daughter.’ I
was sad, I was angry, I wondered why anyone would want to play with my emotions
like that I cried a lot and I thought that there would be no punishment good
enough for such a person. I apologized to his wife over and over again; I have
never felt so ashamed in my life. I knew something was wrong because he did not
want us to become friends on Facebook, he often called when he was outside his house but he worked late and
called me as soon as he came out of work, so that by the time he got home at
11pm I could actually get some shut eye, but even on his one off day he still
called me when he was either in a matatu or walking towards his house, or
outside coz his cousin who he claimed he lived with was watching TV. I thought
all the clues were there but when I asked, he said I was being difficult, and I
thought, I was being difficult, only to realize I was being manipulated. I asked myself, he really seemed like a
genuinely good guy, why did he lie to me.
The good news is that I got over him,
and I know that’s true because I can smile and laugh as a write this. It also
taught me a lot about my character, I learnt at times in life you will meet
people that you really like but you will have to walk away because the
relationship is wrong and at that time it will take every single ounce of strength
that you have to walk away from such a relationship. I am so
proud of myself for that.
I also learnt that at times you don’t
need explanations to move on. People talk to meeting on last time so that the
person who hurt you can explain why he did so but in life the people that hurt
you the most will offer no explanations but you have to move on because there
are sheep in wolves clothing. I don’t need any explanations, I moved on.
He changed nothing about my perception
of men, I know in life there are good men and bad men just as there are good
women and bad women. There are all types of people in this world. And yes there
are some pretty decent guys out there, I happen to know some b.t.w. I have had
men that have helped and expected nothing in return, I have some pretty cool
guy friends that I love and care about.
It’s okay to be angry and sad but only
for a little while. Months later I had already moved on. I emerged the winner
in the very end. While getting over him seem difficult in the beginning, I
actually got over him, am not hurt or wounded.
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