Posted by Social Matters , Thursday, November 29, 2012 9:19 AM
ATI, IT ALL MEANS WHAT?!? KENYAN WEDDINGS By Soni Kariuki Again Kenyan weddings and how they will never make sense…please this is for all the brides, and future brides as well as wanna-be brides, answer the following questions for me: - • What is the importance of wearing a white flowing overpriced gown that you cannot even walk in, or even use in future, what does it even mean anyway? Purity and what the hell is that! Because in the 21st century that doesn’t make sense. Well, that gown has lost meaning completely. • What is the need ya kutolewa kwa wenyewe because kwenyu ni mbali…this seems like something that used to happen in the traditional African set-up that has been fixed into a ceremony borrowed from the Western Culture. Saa hata kama inarepresent the bride kutolewa kwao na si kwao how does it help. Lazima bride aendewe! Kwani hajui church ni wapi? When will the misery end for the guest wedding for a bride to arrive from North Eastern or even worse the bride refusing to married because her family is travelling all the way from Meru to Nairobi and they are still a couple of hours away. • Why do the bride and groom cut cake? So it’s their first meal as a couple, how about the food they had already partaken during the reception, shouldn’t that be the first meal ideally, yet we don’t see them taking the first bite, oh wait we do, especially when the bride is biting into that drum stick reminding the guest that they queued for one hour at did not even get a bottle of water. Then why is it that it’s a woman who is not the bride who informs us of the ingredients and colours on the cake like we cannot see the colours for ourselves, while giving us descriptions on what the colours are supposed to mean in that context. I say this with all due respect. JUST CUT THE CAKE! Still why does the bride have to taste salt on ‘food’ most likely and 95% of the times have no idea how to prepare it. Why can’t the groom taste for the ‘salt.’ Kwani his taste buds are dead. Halafu why do parents get a whole cake for take away yet in most occasions the cake is not enough. • If I received an invitation card to attend the wedding as a guest, why do the bride and groom act like they the guest, eating all the good food. While I have to queue in a line and mostly missing out on most of the dishes, soda and water. • Now what do these rings mean, are they even in the Bible if they are a sign of a covenant. Yani hii tradition ilitoka wapi? • Halafu the wedding vows, who came up with these vows, and why can’t they be changed to reflect the 21st Century. Shouldn’t people be arrested for saying ‘for better for worse’ and then divorce over irreconcilable differences? • Now, why would an average person throw a wedding worth 1.2M, ambazo amechangiwa na maneighbours halafu after the wedding, this couple is absolutely broke. • Why would I pay over 200,000/- for some curtains to be put up in my wedding in the name of Wedding Deco? • Why does the wedding food always ungua. • What does a high table mean in the African context • Now that divorce rates are so high should young girls have more than three dream weddings? Coz there is chance watakuwa married zaidi ya hiyo. A wedding in a ceremony where two people want to make the day, not what it means memorable by impressing their friends using the money that the very friends have contributed. It’s a social event that peers use to judge each other and try to undo each other. Pssst… a kind word to all the bridezillas and brides to be, relax, unless you have so much money, all have so many people with money to waste around you. Concentrate on the morning after the wedding… The rest of your life.
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