5 THINGS THAT WOMEN NEED TO STOP BLAMING MEN ABOUT
Posted by Social Matters , Saturday, June 27, 2015 7:52 AM
From time immemorial, society takes
delight in blaming men for every single thing that happens to women. Truthfully,
no one forces women to do most of these things, especially since we are in the
21st century; women do them because they really want to. We cater to
men because we love to and believe it’s our birth right; we get married because
our bodies and biology demands it. Here are some of the things that we need to
stop blaming men for:-
1. Pregnancy / unwanted pregnancy; I think it is
time we changed the definition of unwanted pregnancy to a situation where ‘a
woman falls pregnant despite doing everything in her power to prevent it.’ Come
on girls, if you have no desire to be a single parent or become a bitter man
hating woman, you have to stop sleeping with every single guy that says ‘I will
marry you when you get pregnant’ ‘I will take care of our baby’ testosterone
does weird things to men, just like estrogen during that time of the month. We are living in the era of equality ladies,
if you do not want to get pregnant, please don’t.
2. Losing our figures; ‘I lost my
figure carrying your baby.’ ‘Look at what men do to women’s bodies.’ Come
on ladies! 98% of women love having babies. And if by any chance we fail to get
babies as soon as we want we panic and just the thought that we may not be able
to get babies is enough to kill us. And when women get babies they become the
centre of their universe. We lose our figures not for men or because of men but
because we really really realllly want it!!! We need to stop blaming men for this
one.
3. Lose of career, when women commit to a man, they
tend to lose their senses. At times they give up their careers to take care of
their men and children. I think that is beautiful and family must come first,
but in the world of over 50% divorce rates, you must prepare for the future and
at times we are holding on to men and relationships that we know they will
never work.
4. Boob jobs, Skin lightening creams, weaves. ‘I am so sick
and tired of hearing ‘men want curvy women’ ‘African men prefer the yellow
yellows’ ‘men want women with bigger butts.’ Women have body issues yes, at times
they have nothing to do with men but with our deeply rooted insecurities so do
men like the one below.
5. Women as sexual objects ;
The people who
make us believe that we are sexual objects are the people closest us, our
female friends and relatives. Ever attended a bridal shower with all those all
knowing female relatives and friends, how many times do they remind us that we
are sexual objects and we must be available to please our husbands desire. It is us women who let each other know that we
are sexual objects and we will pass it down for the generations to come. Look
at some of the most powerful women in the world and how they dress, look at the
women who are the most richest and powerful and the ones all the little girls
want to be. Surely we cannot blame men for this as well.
6. Losing our friends when in a committed relationship
with a man
‘You must drop your single female
friends,’
this phrase mostly comes from our female friends. We are mostly advised that
women are our enemies and when you realise that your man has a life and you don’t,
you blame him.
7. Non-payment of dowry: -
This must be the most common argument in
Kenyan households. ‘Amekataa kunilipa
mahari’ this argument often starts a couple of years after living together.
By this time, there are children involved and the whole world knows that you
are his wife. That is when you realise that your parents need to be respected
and they say ‘umekataa kulipa.’ You
cannot make an honest man out of a man who is not. You are the one with the
problem because 1. You moved in with guy when he had not paid dowry for you 2.
You gave birth to his children and willingly named them after his side of the
family or the names he had chosen 3. You have never discussed dowry with this
man 4. You waited until he had both feet in before you started making dowry
demands.
Men are not responsible for everything
wrong that happen in womensville, women need to be responsible for their own
actions. Maybe it’s time we shared responsibility for the choices that we make.
Maybe it’s time we realised that society is the way it is, because of the
mistakes men and women are making. We cannot escape from this, women, we must
share the responsibility equally.
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