MATATU INSANITY
Posted by Social Matters , Sunday, January 5, 2014 10:31 PM
MATATU
INSANITY
There
is
something about a matatu ride that will never make it interesting, it is one of
those rides that you have to get over with because you have no choice (having
no car of your own) or because you simply have to get to point B from A (and
you cannot use your car for some strange reasons) from the touts to the drivers
and the passengers, any of the three can make that ride to be one from hell.
Just the other day I needed to get from Thika to Nairobi, the sign clearly read
a hundred and twenty shillings but when we got in it shot to one hundred and
fifty, we all paid begrudgingly, luckily for us God was in the mood for
instance justice when we got to Nairobi, the matatu was impounded, the matatu
insurance was expired, the policeman showed us the evidence and he was kind
enough to allow the driver to get us to where we were going before arresting
the driver and impounding the vehicle, I could not help but smile as I
alighted, but forget the drivers and the touts it is our fellow passengers that
manage to annoy us the most with their endless annoying habits, when the
fourteen seater matatu is full, there is always the idiot…sorry passenger
trying to squeeze themselves where there is no space, at times those who are (sorry
to say) over weight will squeeze in between two rightly seated passengers until
they are comfortable, and the ride becomes torture. The standing passengers in
the bigger matatus are no better, they will hit you with their handbags, fall
on you for no apparent reason and God forbid you raise the issue with them and
they will talk back to you with an unmatched sense of entitlement.
Then there are women
with weird hairstyles, at times the weaves are so big and sharp that when she
turns she can injure someone with her hair. Yes I said it, these women are a
danger to society at large, the weaves are so puffed up that when they turn you
have to dive so that they do not injure your eyes, or bruise your skin. Not to
mention the hairstyle can easily turn to an eye sore, try looking at it after
the said lady has been leaning on her seat for quite some time. There are
hairstyles that require you get your own car simply because you are a danger to
society and you self anyway, I just imagine how hot her poor scalp must be feeling
trapped underneath more than half a kilo of synthetic hair.
Smokers
and
alcoholics are among the worst passengers to seat next to. Smokers usually board
public transportation after their last smoke, at times they chew some orbit so
that they hide the horrid cigarette smell which only makes it worse, at times
during the pit stops they will have a quick smoke which will make sure the
smell stays with you throughout the journey, at times the smell can be truly
nauseating, God forbid they decide to hit on you. As for the alcoholics apart
from the fact that their breathe stinks, they are also chatty from the
beginning to the end and at times they do address you at the top of their
voices and that can be rather embarrassing especially when they start
describing what they like about you.
Then
there
are situations that leave you with half a seat, people who may not necessarily
fit on one seat and spill over to yours, and parents who have their children
seat on part of your seat and assume you are comfortable with that. Recently I
entered a bus where on one side of the aisle there are three seats, I saw an
empty seat, there were two other people and the woman in the centre was pouring
out into my seat, so I had only half a seat, so I sat, unfortunately touching
her hips by mistakes and she turned on me with gusto and anger. I was so
shocked I answered back. ‘But you are seated on two seats, how is it
my fault?’ I was literally falling out of my seat or what was left of
it and she was being rude to me, I was so incensed I may have been insensitive
about her weight, later on I realized that there was no winning and just
listened as she went on lecturing me on manners, If you want to weigh more I
have no problem with that but I do have my rights as well as far as that seat
goes, I paid for all of it not half.
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